HomeAbout DisordersForumBlogChatFAQ'sContact
blog
Can't Login? Reset Your Password Read More Here
Keep up with WhyEat.net on Twitter!
Advanced Search
  • Forum
  • Blogs
    • Recent Entries
    • Most Popular
    • Member Blogs
  • What's New?

  • Home
  • Blogs
  • madeofstars
  • What the hell is wrong with me?! FAIL.

  1. If this is your first visit, be sure to check out the FAQ by clicking the link above. You may have to REGISTER before you can post: click the register link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below.

madeofstars

What the hell is wrong with me?! FAIL.

Rate this Entry
1 Comment
by
madeofstars
  • View Profile
  • View Forum Posts
  • Private Message
  • View Blog Entries
, 06-14-2010 at 09:28 AM (1158 Views)
Oh god I am such a dick. Was doing so well, lost 4.4lbs since Saturday and then BAM binge time! I dont even know what happened, I was all super motivated and then went upstairs to shower and do my squats and sit ups and then all of a sudden I was pulling on clothes and heading to Tescos to get binge food. Er, idiot! So I fucked that one up big style.

I feel utterly minging. My binge wasnt even worth it, it was shit food, tasted shit, didnt enjoy it, feel sick, feel full, got a headache, even after the second bite I hated it but just kept going. What a fool. I hate myself. Why do I always sabotage myself at every opportunity??

I think I was just sick of fighting the voices...the constant "restrict! be thin! starve! exercise! 100lbs!" versus "you're fat! eat! pizza! chocolate! theres no point in trying you'll fail eventually! it's only one binge!"....ARGH SHUT THE FUCK UP BOTH OF YOU.

I need to be stronger. I need to stop the voices. I need to get back in control. I know I say this every week but this time it will be different. 100lbs here I come. I know I can do it. It's mind over matter. It's all in myhead, losing is easy...not giving in is hard. I can do it. I'm stronger than this shitty binge voice.

Piss off Bingey McBingerson. Had enough of you and your fat disgusting ways. I WILL be 110 by Saturday. And I WILL reach 100lbs by the end of July. At the absolute latest.

On a slightly related note, I emailed my bf saying what a failure i was and how i needed help and he phoned and was like "why did you binge?" in a real accusatory tone. So i got mad. He's mad now. Argh. I dont know how to make him understand.
Tags: None Add / Edit Tags
Categories
‎ Uncategorized
  • Email Blog Entry Email Blog Entry
« Prev     Main     Next »

Comments

  1. BellaBee's Avatar
    it can be hard when ppl in our lives don't get it. hang in there xx

vBulletin Message

 
Cancel Changes
+ Create Blog
madeofstars
  • Go to Profile Go to Profile
  • Mark as Read Mark as Read
Join Date
Apr 2010
Location
UK
Posts
1,331
Blog Entries
21
  • Blog Categories

    Local Categories

    • Uncategorized Uncategorized
  • Recent Comments
    • What the hell is wrong with me?! FAIL.
      by BellaBee
    • Read if you want to binge
      by BellaBee
    • Last Attempt
      by <3tempe<3ange<3sweets<3
    • Recovery begins...
      by pianokitten
    • Little by little....
      by Pristine
  • Recent Blog Posts
    • taking back control
      07-23-2010 01:03 PM
    • Last Attempt
      06-21-2010 10:06 AM
    • What the hell is wrong with me?! FAIL.
      06-14-2010 09:28 AM
    • My new diet
      06-11-2010 10:10 AM
    • Read if you want to binge
      06-11-2010 09:20 AM
  • Recent Visitors
    •  Beautiful_Chaos
    •  cookiemonster123
    •  EnoughIsEnough
    •  HellsBells
    •  JoansGirlfriend
    •  moozles
    •  odette04
    •  stir fry
    •  sunshine22
    •  TheInaudible1
  • Archive

      <   February 2019    
    Su Mo Tu We Th Fr Sa
    20 21 22 23 24 25 26
    27 28 29 30 31 1 2
    3 4 5 6 7 8 9
    10 11 12 13 14 15 16
    17 18 19 20 21 22 23
    24 25 26 27 28 1 2
  • Home
  • Archive
  • Top
All times are GMT -6. The time now is 04:21 PM.
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.1.7
Copyright © 2019 vBulletin Solutions, Inc. All rights reserved.

Register | Terms of Use / Rules*** | Disclaimer | Site Usage Info | FAQ's

Hosted by Sector HostDesigned by Stealth Central
2004-2014 WhyEat.net