shayyy333

there are a lot of people like that... im a lot like that...
i think its called "wannarexic" or something.
however, despite the fact that it may not REALLY be anorexia - which is good -, it IS a very real disorder.

I think most people start out like that I definately did. but to be honest there is disorder in wanting to lose weight in a damaging way rather than by being healthy, and I reckon that leads to the anorexic way of thinking.

it's that line between realising when you're thin enough, or not knowing when to stop regardless of how thin you are. I started out 6 years ago just wanting to be skinnier and that's still how I feel, but being skinnier does make me feel more in control cos I don't feel like a fat slop munching big macs, and I feel more capable doing things. one definately has something to do with the other so you're probably more anorexic than you think

i think - important word being think - i will know when im finally thin enough. but then again, as i aproach my ugw.... im very tempted to lower it. and when i look at others, even if they are very thin, i think: even if i looked like that, id probably want to lose another 10 pounds......

And food is finally starting to disgust me - which, if you knew anything about me, would shock the hell out of you. my whole life i have LOVED any and ALL food, the less healthy the better!! but now, when i see my brother digging into a burger or my mom chomping on cheetos, all i can think is omg you disgusting pig. I cant even watch.

I think 'real' anorexia may be sloooowly creeping up on me.....

Like im honestly kindof okay with my weight now, but i still only ate 150 calories today simply because thats what i do, you know? not eating has kindof become my thing.

Hey. So maybe nobody cares. I don't really. But I think many people start out as I did. I've changed a lot since this blog post. It's not about being skinny anymore. I don't think it ever was. It was about love. About wanted to change myself so I could stop feeling so horrible wrong and bad. It didn't work. I never got too skinny. I don't really starve myself. But I avoid food in general and try to eat as close to nothing each day as possible. It doesn't consume my mind. But it is always there. I stabilize at this weight usually - 140-145. Plase contain your laughter and derision.

well it's always like that at first, u just want to lose a bit of weight, or u just want to control ur life a bit, but it just gets out of control nd u get in the habit, nd that's when things get serious nd u start having a serious mental issue !!!