Marialise

**I actually posted this on the forum, but looking back at it, it feels more like a blog so I decided to go ahead and make it a blog... **

Ok, sooo.... I usually feel like I take one step forward and 10 steps back. I've been trying to do a liquid fast and the longest I lasted was 2 days. Thursday I had to have dinner with my sister at my FAVE restaurant. I ordered my favorite entree (Seafood Enchiladas), knowing there was no way I could keep it down... As soon as I got home I purged. I'm not proud of it but it happened. Friday I started fresh with my liquid fast. I made it until 10:30 tonight (Saturday).

But the thing is, I'm not mad. I had a super shitty day. I wanted to binge by 4:30 this afternoon and working at a restaurant I was taunted by french fries, quesadillas, guacamole, chips, salsa, and sooo much more. My friend made me some grilled tofu so instead of fattening restaurant food I ate the tofu. I had a major headache, was mad about how awful my day was, in the midst of an anxiety attack, and desperate to binge. I went to the grocery store to get stuff to make vegetable broth with the thought of binging in the back of my head.

I'm proud of myself though... I looked at the juice, looked at the chips, looked at the cookies, and other binge foods. But I knew that in my current mood there was NO way I could only eat one serving so I left with veggies, a small bag of potatos, a pack of 10 cal jello, vegetable broth, and raspberry lemonade crystal light.

Not gonna lie, I just had a little binge but it was a semi-healthy one. And it could have been soooo much worse. So I'm not going to purge.

I ate:
2 Diet Cokes- 3 cals
1/4 cup of grilled tofu- 91 cals (at work)
1 lettuce leaf- 1 cal (at work)
1 tsp of pico de gallo- 5 cals (at work)
1/2 of a kids whole wheat roll- 60 cals (at work) ... Total- 200 cals

2 Jello cups- 20 cals (Binge)
1 cup Vegetable Broth with Cayenne Pepper (I've heard it helps metabolism )- 15 cals (Binge)
3 Small potatos (<1/2 a cup... but for all intents and purposes, 1/2 cup)- 57 cals (Binge)
1/4 cup of baby portabello mushrooms- 6 cals (Binge) ... Total- 98 cals

Daily total 298... I'm strangely full (but I guess it was A LOT of food for 298 cals) and for once I feel I've only taken one step forward and one step back

Have a great Easter y'all!