Advice please

[Suzy]

Hadn't posted till now as was trying to convince myself I was ok and there wasn't a problem.
I have an eating disorder although not sure what to be honest. It started about 3-4 years ago and i ended up down at 113lb before my husband sussed I was starving myself and if i did eat purging after. I recovered from this and have been ok ish for last year or 2 with just minor relapses.
Recently my weight went up to 133lb and so I started to cut down on food a bit and try to lose it gradually however it didn't seem to work so cut out breakfast and lunch and went on to just having tea which lost a bit but nothing major and have gradually relapsed to being worse than first time round. I have sent myself a target of 110lb and up until now ( i have reached 113lb) thought that would be where I would stop but now not so sure,

I have started eating a bit and this is fine to a point but then i just have that extra 50 cals and have to purge the lot, I just want to stop throwing up hence I thought people on here might be able to help with advice

Sorry for the long post but needed to tell someone.

Thanks

Suz

[Suzy]

Anyone????

[lalalalaah]

I don't really know what to advise you to do to be honest, but I know exactly what you mean about that extra 50 calories pushing it too far, I do it all of the time, when I have too much I just have to purge it all back up and then i starve myself for the rest of the day as punishment.

From what others have said it sounds more like purging anorexia but don't hold me to it.

[alanna]

hi suzy

be carefull...i think you are in a very vunerable position at the moment...you still have control! getting down to 110 could be a happy healthy experience-not the purging etc. i know what you mean stronger the second time round this happened to me a few years ago and i dabbled in selfharm.

dont let it consume your thoughts...talk to your husband-that could be the hardest thing to do.maybe taking a risk will help you.

pm me if you want to talk

alannax

[Suzy]

Thanks for that hun, hubby now knows he sussed it last time and sussed it this time. He is being great which is cool not pushing me to eat loads and high cal stuff, hope that carry's on.

Haven't purged since Sunday which really pleased about, just trying to cut the cals down to max 400-600. Today had small amount of cucumber, bit of pepper and small piece of ham for lunch and for tea had mixed salad 12 cals, beetroot, tiny bit of 9 cal dressing and three pieces of chicken at 9 cal a slice. plus drinking only tea, coffee and water.
Trying not to let it consume my thoughts but just seems too it's all I think about if I'm not busy and when trying to sleep but hopefully will sort out.

Suzy

[bluebutterfly]

Eat healthy, feel healthy! Stay strong and don't lose control. And NEVER cut off breakfast, it's the most important meal of the day, it keeps you going all day long Try oatmeal/porridge.

-B

[sk8rgrl]

Eat healthy, feel healthy! Stay strong and don't lose control. And NEVER cut off breakfast, it's the most important meal of the day, it keeps you going all day long Try oatmeal/porridge.

-B

Just my input....

Breakfast, for me, is disaster zone.

If I eat breakfast, I could go on eating all day

If I dont eat breakfast, I can happily run on empty

Don't know why. Just switches somethin for me.

X

[Suzy]

Just my input....

Breakfast, for me, is disaster zone.

If I eat breakfast, I could go on eating all day

If I dont eat breakfast, I can happily run on empty

Don't know why. Just switches somethin for me.

X

Yup i'm with you there i can do all day with nothing and just have something in evening with no breakfast once I've eaten breakfast thats eat just want to eat all day.

[Ambivalent]

yeah me too. Worse if I have carbs at breakfast too. If I have an egg and something like a piece of ham is better.

[x2to00x]

i agree with the above that once i start eating my whole day is ruined. i think it's cause my metabolism starts going. anyway, i don't know how tall you are but your weight span is similar to mine. i get to about 127 when i'm eating without a care in the world, drop to 113... which is my lowest when i'm restricting.

i wouldn't however, dare say i was anorexic. i have never lost my period and i don't actually see myself as fat... i've gotten to the point where, if i gain a little, i just don't feel like the world is ending. but, i'm disordered, that's for sure.

sometimes i b/p, like the past couple of days but for the most part it's restricting...i still eat though so i haven't fallen below 113.

honestly, i'm ed nos... kinda messed up but not worth the clinical diagnosis :-(

for you it remains to be seen. i guess it depends on if you lose your period for 3 months etc.