hey there

[tobebeautiful]

Hi there! I've been looking for a good forum to join where i could i feel comfortable and I feel this one is it. Hi there! I've been looking for a good forum to join where i could i feel comfortable and I feel this one is it. I saw it was about eating disorders and i used to be severly over weight when i was in 9th grade. I wieghted 210 pounds. I decided it was time to lose weight so i started off doing it right. Eating right, working out, portioning my food. But then as time progressed I became obessesed. Alls I wanted to do was to be thinner. I worked out ALL the time...and i rarely ever ate. Everytime i looked in the mirror i saw fat and ugly. No matter how much i lost it wasn't good enough. I got down to 130. I know thats still a lot but for me and my body type, my face was sunken in and my bones stuck out. I still wasn't happy. My mom and I talked and we decided to get me help. I was diagnosed with an eating disorder because i exercised so much and it was always on my mind and I never wanted to eat and i was never happy with my weight i always wanted to be thinner. I'm now a freshman in college and since getting helped i've gained so much weight...I promised myself i would never gain this much weight again. I'm at a crossroad now where I just don't know what to do. what i'm saying I guess is that i need help. I have no idea what to do anymore and no one understands the way I feel sure i can just exercise and eat right again. But everyone knows once you have an eating disorder it never goes away. I know that because I'm seriously considering going anorexic because food is just too bad for you. Sorry for laying everything out there...i just needed to vent.
thanks for listening! and I'm free to talk anytime!

xocourtney