Throwing in the towel

[lalalalaah]

I havn't purged for like a week and I was so proud with myself when i realized today was one whole week and I was really happy about it. Then eveything has to go all tits up, I come home and get a shit load of crap from my super bitch step mom, then my dad and my older step sister too. Then my mum called from England and had a break down on the phone telling me how much she misses me and wants me to come home. In a matter of an hour my good day crumbled and my one week not purging went with it. I don't see the point in trying when I know someone else will just push me to mess it up.

Thats not me blaming anyone else, I know it's my only weak ass fault that I broke but I don't think I have the will to give it up when everything his so shit and stresfull around me.

[FishFace]

lalalalaah, you should feel good about not purging for a week. That's really important, you have the potential to do it again

Bad days like today happen, and today sounds like it was really bad for you. I guess we're all kinda bad with stress and shit in our lives, and end up doing things that are harmful instead of helpful. Still, I think we can change, right? If we become stronger, other people might push us but we'll be able to just stand up instead of falling.

I was just thinking about the last time I went a whole week without purging-- a couple months ago, but I remember how good it felt! I am definitely going to try to achieve that again.

I hope you try to have another good week, you should be making yourself feel good if no one else is.

[lalalalaah]

Thanks FishFace, I really want to try again and get over this I just don't know if I can do it now. I feel so friggin pathetic and stupid right now, I used to be so confodant I was almost cocky and it drives me nuts now I'm such a yucky, unstable mess.

But you're right, we can change. And I'm gonna try I'm just not sure I'll be able to hold off as long.

Thankyou though, made today a little better

[lalalalaah]

Why is everything so fucked up. I've been trying to cut down my purging and eat better but I've still put on like 6 POUNDS! Family life sucks and my friends are just all, grr, I don't know, going on a rebellion against me or something and doing their best to make up excuses to ditch on me.

I'm just having a bad week but it's messing up my 'fuck off ED' plan, I've purged like everyday and hardly been eating anything. I know I'm just being an idiot but I don't want to have the stress of gaining wait with all the other drama.