Why do it ? (genuinely interested)

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Hi my names James,
Now I myself do not suffer from eating disorders, I'm 17 and my BMI is dead on 22 so yeah... But my ex-GF did suffer from the disorder for over a year, and did manage to get out of it, although she's being open with me about it and has told me she has kind of started up again.
I'm just wondering really where the urge to under-eat etc... comes from? I always tell he she looks great/fabulous and that she's in great shape as i truly believe she is. So I'm really stumped as to why she feels she HAS to be skinny-er and I just want to help her as I don't want any long term affects haunting her later on in life

Many Thanks,
James

if you want my msn address or anything just ask

[CountingRibs]

Hey James

Well I don't really think there is any definite answer to your question, different people have alot of different reasons as to why they want to be 'skinny-er' I guess if you really want to know you'd have to ask your girlfriend. I think it's nice that you compliment her etc but sometimes it might just make things worse, personally I love it when someone compliments me however I feel the need to have everyone compliment me as people's opinions matter of me.
I wish you and your ex gf the best of luck though
xx

[Stray]

Hi James. As CountingRibs said, the reasons for wanting to be thin and under eating are different for every individual. Some see it as way of 'control', others do it as a result of abuse. There is also a lot of pressure from the media, obviously.
For me, I want to be thin because I want to feel (and look) prettier, and I want to feel special, and unique. I want to stand out from everyone else by being that beautiful thin girl that everyone admires. I also think people will like me better, and maybe more people will be interested in me (I know I sound a bit crazy )
That's just me though, your ex-GF's reasons could be very different.
I think it's good that you're concerned about her, keep up the good work!

[applecrumble]

Thank you counting ribs =) xx

Hi James. As CountingRibs said, the reasons for wanting to be thin and under eating are different for every individual. Some see it as way of 'control', others do it as a result of abuse. There is also a lot of pressure from the media, obviously.
For me, I want to be thin because I want to feel (and look) prettier, and I want to feel special, and unique. I want to stand out from everyone else by being that beautiful thin girl that everyone admires. I also think people will like me better, and maybe more people will be interested in me (I know I sound a bit crazy )
That's just me though, your ex-GF's reasons could be very different.
I think it's good that you're concerned about her, keep up the good work!

Hey, I understand that every individual will most likely ALWAYS have different reasons for the "thing"(not sure what to call it as although I do worry about it i'm not sure if it's bad in a sense). I kind of understand the media part but it does seem quite warped in that EVERYTHING is airbrushed, even pets animals food everything is changed in programs like photoshop etc... to make them look better (I had a 2 week course thing at bbc and they explained it to me ) so if that pressures you please don't be....

Anyway's back on topic.... I'm just wondering personally about you as you mentioned about why you feel you want to be unique? I honestly feel everyone is unique and everyone is different, so just wondering where you get that from really?

and just so you know whatever size height weight or ANYTHING to do with you there will always be your friends family and ALWAYS again a partner out there who will love you no matter what and be with you forever


xx

[Stray]

and just so you know whatever size height weight or ANYTHING to do with you there will always be your friends family and ALWAYS again a partner out there who will love you no matter what and be with you forever


xx

Aww, thanks for that, that's lovely! Anyway, the unique thing. I don't really have an answer to that. I've just always wanted to be special I guess. And maybe be a bit better than everyone else. I know that sounds horrible, but it's kind of how I feel. And now I sort of believe that if I'm skinny and (hopefully) pretty, I will be more special.
Sorry, my mind works strangely, doesn't it?!

[applecrumble]

Aww, thanks for that, that's lovely! Anyway, the unique thing. I don't really have an answer to that. I've just always wanted to be special I guess. And maybe be a bit better than everyone else. I know that sounds horrible, but it's kind of how I feel. And now I sort of believe that if I'm skinny and (hopefully) pretty, I will be more special.
Sorry, my mind works strangely, doesn't it?!

not really everyone no matter what they say strives to be better then other people its just how any animal/mammal etc.. works and you found the way how you "compete" where as say someone else may do it through doing sports etc.... I see where you come from so its fine, its certainly not strange by any means !

[alanna]

james

Im touched that you have come here looking for answers for your girlfriend.
You said you are 'genuinely interested' but i cant help to notice you being a bit preachy... anyway if its true i wish you the best.

alanna

[applecrumble]

james

Im touched that you have come here looking for answers for your girlfriend.
You said you are 'genuinely interested' but i cant help to notice you being a bit preachy... anyway if its true i wish you the best.

alanna

preachy :S?? lol I jsut kind of understand where people come from but then I don't its confusing :/

any-way's, =) thank you for the kind comments

[jeffbobs]

Aww, thanks for that, that's lovely! Anyway, the unique thing. I don't really have an answer to that. I've just always wanted to be special I guess. And maybe be a bit better than everyone else. I know that sounds horrible, but it's kind of how I feel. And now I sort of believe that if I'm skinny and (hopefully) pretty, I will be more special.
Sorry, my mind works strangely, doesn't it?!

Your not weird your normal hun(if normal exists) as carl jung said show me a sane person and i will cure them.

I see you as anyone else, everyone has this deep down desire to spread their fame as such! to be remembered to be special and remembered by people. people do it in so many different things, buildings, inventions.

So you have just come up with your way to be remembered. I could be wrong cos psychology is pretty much guess work most the time lol. And lets be honest even if i was true, it would be 1 aspect of a problem that has many different causes.

[Chew]

For me it started when I noticed one day I was looking a tiny bit over wight and i felt soo gross and nasty (I could grab myself and stretch chunks of my skin right out eek and my ribs were completely invisible) so I kind of got into eating less and started counting food cals instead of enjoying it and I began eating less and less though I still feel kind of fat now cos I can grab myself, anyway I couldn't stop eating small even if I wanted too (I'm not sure if I do or not??) but I tried to eat more and it just wasn't working, I won't let myself, I have two consciences in a way, one telling me I could be destroying myself & the other telling me that I still need to eat low to stay where I am, I do not know what I want anymore , it always depends...

Anyway as much as I try to eat more, and hoped that I could eat 1200 kcal a day I have no chance , If I eat maybe 600 I either chewspit anything else or just block it out, it is out of my control...........

But in a way I am also happy on my attempt to avoid fattness as confusing and hard as it may be.....

I also want my face bones to show more... to make me feel more confident.... mabye....