fed up with this way of life

[Roxanna]

I am so fed up with being the anorexic me. I am so fed up with constantly being around people that can just eat normally and feel its okay to do it, i eat the littliest possible, even around others who eat big meals, seeing them eat makes my stomach ache even more, i m fed up with every day being a fight with myself, making myself not eat, making myself being the best, pushing myself to the limit. I ve tried to overcome all this and when i did my head was in an even bigger mess. I look at others and think i wish i could be them

[feel so alone]

i know how u feel apart from i binge and purge i dont starve myself, i find that if u dont eat people notice more that u hav an eating prob my family and friends dont hav any idea what is going on in my life and whats going thru my head evry min of the day, its a whole secret life that is so hard 2 stop......i feel the same as u tho, i jst look at my friends who are healthy and naturally thin and i hate them 4 it and wish that i was them

[Roxanna]

yeah it is really hard, i ve stopped talking to my friends about eating disorder, one of my friends said about my other friend who is a compulsive eater, well she commented on her size saying it cant be good for her health etc, and i felt bad that i had to sit and listen to it and i wish i had the courage to say something, but its comments like that why i starve myself and i wish i had said that. My other friend would of been really hurt to have heard Nicola say all this.
My friend who has compulsive eating does understand about me not eating etc, and she knows you just cant change things like this, but normal people like Nicola dont understand.....to them its like black and white, she is very thin and it is hard sitting opposite to her, so yeah i do understand what you are saying.

[Eeyoer]

I can totally relate to how you are feeling hun, when I go home on leave (In-Patient at min) i am totally disgusted by the amount of food that people eat and think is normal. Just eat and forget about it, can't even contemplate ever being able to do that again.