easter anxiety

[emilybemily]

hey all. i'm emily and i'm new to the forum. i just need to rant a little about easter, as i'm sure a lot of you are experiencing similar anxiety. i'm really nervous because we're going over to my mom's friend's house to eat and she made a quiche especially for me because i'm vegetarian. i mean that's got to be soooooo many calories!!! and all the fat in cheese plus the shell...oh god. and she was talking about the mozzarella & tomato salad she was making which she figured i would like. i don't mind the tomatoes but CHEESE again?? and the fat content in dressing...plus there'll probably be more food i'm expected to eat. i just feel really bad because she cooked all this food, some of it especially for me but i don't want to eat it! i'm hoping i can just have a few bites and then push the rest around my plate but i know my mom will be watching me like a hawk. i can't purge either because my mom'll be monitoring that too. plus i feel really awkward throwing up at other people's houses. it's just the cheese, it really scares me. that's a BIIIIIG fear food of mine, especially because in my bulimia days it was a big binge food for me. i'm fasting all day today until we go over there but i still feel really uncomfortable. especially since i tampered a bit on binging yesterday. nothing too too bad & i purged everything i ate, but i still woke up this morning feeling ten times fatter than i did yesterday. i don't have a scale right now so that's driving me crazy too. i know i gained. and i'll just gain more tonight. i've been mega restricting and fasting all spring break but i feel like it's all for nothing. especially with that binge episode yesterday and easter today. i'm just going to go back to school on monday a giant fatty... sorry, i know this was a really long rant, i just needed to get it out.

[jeffbobs]

if ya wanna rant a bit more ya know....someone to talk at....or even too i am here to listen if ya want....on the chat room or my msn is gohan00760@hotmail.com if you wanna have a chat

[emilybemily]

thanks so much, i appreciate the support. maybe when i get home today or sometime soon when i get some free time we'll chat.

[Rach29]

Hiya, just wanted to let you know you aren't alone... had to go and see my folks today who basically stood over me and watched me until I'd finished off a HUGE roast dinner - it's seriously the biggest amount of food I've eaten in months and no opportunity to purge either. I was really upset about it but I've calmed down now, it may be a short-term disaster but tomorrow is another day and I'm planning on juice-fasting for at least a couple of days... although having read the post about chocolate I may well give that a go!

[Chew]

Humm I got away with eating half a packet of rice today even though everyone was having these huge plates of sunday dinner style food, I feel so uncomfortable in those situations, But I had the excuse that I was full from eating this terribly big easter egg that I had to eat half of that equals to god knows how many calories, But i'm soo glad that my meal didn't make my day even worse, I am just waiting to weigh myself tomorrow to see what consequences of that awful egg.

[LiquidSkies]

I hate easter! Really, all the food. Uhh...

But I've been eating only a little and drinking a lot (of water) so I hope I haven't gained any weight. I'm too afraid to weight myself. Argh! Goddamned easter! (I guess it's kinda ironic to say it like that...ehehe )

Religious holidays full of food = a disaster to my mental health. I have no idea how I'm going to survive next Christmas.