oh god they found out....

[heart18]

oh god it has literally been worst week and a half of my life.my parents were making me move room so i had2 tidy all the crap out of my room and there was literally 3 huge sacs just of food wrappers which i was attempting to hide cos my parents had no idea i was bulimic 4like over 2yrs.anyway they wer already pretty suspicious but then i stupidly lefy out my diaries on my bed(i am such a fucking idiot) and my mum read them!!!!literally full on accounts of my ed.they confronted me nxt day and since then everything has been so shit.i usually binge 4 times a day i have only thrown up twice in the past week and a half.and they won't stop fucking following me everywhere i cnt watch tv,go on the computer,go out do fucking anything without them fucking following me everywhere!i feel so angry and so so so shit.i cant even go4 a run even tho i never over excersised b4 just did it cos it made me feel better but i never ran on an empty stomach r anything i just enjoyed the time 2 myself but now i cnt cos thats 'part of the problem'. so i basically hav no1 2tlk2 and nothing to do to realease any kind of emotion.and im so pissed off bout my diary cos ther was other stuff in ther2 like really personal things bout nights out n my friends that really was none of her business and 1 of my diaries is still missing.and 2 make matters worse she fucking rang my friend(who i would definitly not have told first r at all) and her mum without telling me and told them all about my 'situation'.i was so angry wen i found that out.they keep on smothering me lik acting like im some kind of fragile 2yr old(im 19) lik your not well enough to go out late love its not safe...and im lik i have a fucking eating disorder im not senile 4 gods sake!!!the worst is meal time.i have never had anorexic eating habits but them forcing me to eat all this food makes me so angry i dont want to eat it i cant eat it because they are being so god damn controlloing!!!!so basically they have removed any kind of enjoyment from my life and have absolutly zero understanding of young ppl or eating disoders.i dont even no who they have told who my friend r her mum has blabbed2.its just so irritating.im genuinly not under weight.i have lost weight but i am a healthy weight i'm not anorexic i m bulimic.probaly doesnt help situation that i went out the nite they found out and went back to a guys house but told them i was staying in my friends so they called 2hers the next day n i hadnt told her i that i told my parents i was staying ther so they found out i ws actually in a random house somewhere.....absolute disaster.anyway sorry4the incredibly long rant bt feels better 2write it out somewhere(not lik i cn ever keep a diary again)

[saryndipitous]

Aww, that sounds like a really crummy situation. When my mom found out she started watching me at all meals, and immediately after (I'm more ana than bulimic, but I purged too).

Are your parents making you get help now? Do you want help?

I hope it all works out for you. Sounds like a you're going through a tough time now though...

[BJC]

awh that sucks.
my mum found out too, but she said she'll help not stop me.
just talk to your mum and tell her shes not helping your problem and what you have is a serious disease, she should back off sooner or later.
good luck xo

[irishgirl]

oh god you're situation just sounded like my worst nightmare. well done for pulling through it . and to be honest it was prob the best thing that will ever happen to you because you are probably better by now.....

[progirl]

Well done for not flipping out on your Mum for reading your journal. I would have if my Mum had ever read mine. Meanwhile, damage control is key. My Mum suspected me of being anorexic for a while when I was about 20-21 (only suspected as I lived on my own and she couldn't confirm any of her suspicions). Of course, she was right, but carefully planned meals and snacks in her presence managed to alleviate her suspicions after a while.

[claudiasov]

Ahh, I'm so sorry for you, I can't imagine what my mother would do if she found out that I'm bulimic...it would be pure hell and I'm sure she wouldn't help me, just close me in a hospital or something