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Thread: sucidal today

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  1. 05-14-2009 #1
    willpower
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    willpower is offline Junior Member
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    Default sucidal today

    god i f**kin hate myself. i'm such a fat bitch and have just carved that into my thigh.......... i wish i was dead. then all this would go oaway. i'd stop being a burden to everyone and i'd stop feeling so disguisting and fat.i hate ana so much today but hate myself more- wish i could lose weight, nothing has changed still heavy and fat. i'm hungry and i cant do this anymore. god i hate myself and everyone around me. wish everyone in my life would stop pushing me.

    sorry for my rant. worst day today i eva had....... ignore me xxx
    goal - 50, 49.5, 49 48.5, 48, 47.5, 47, 46.5, 46, 45.5, 45, 44.5, 44, 43.5, 43, 42.5, 42, 41.5, 41, 40.5, 40, 39, 38.5, 38 goal - so far....)

  2. 05-14-2009 #2
    Miss_Holly's Avatar
    Miss_Holly
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    Miss_Holly is offline Veteran Member
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    Default


    I'm sorry you feel that way, I hate those self hating days, had one two days ago... when I have them I end up taking it out on my bf and it makes me depressed how it effects our relationship, I end up with a ton of guilt and feel like a psycho, what helps me is just to cry and cry.

    Looks like you weigh nothing though, 40,5 kg. You've almost reached your goal, don't be so hard on yourself... I know you don't feel skinny but everyone weighing 40 is skinny, but I know me saying that doesn't mean much. I wish you all the best. xxx

  3. 05-14-2009 #3
    annabella
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    annabella is offline Veteran Member
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    Default

    hey hun, sorry to hear your feeling so bad. Is you're leg ok?

    try to spend some time looking after yourself, when i feel like that it always makes me better just to curl up in a duvet and hide from the world.

    Sorry i'm not much help at the moment, i'm feeling kind of the same. Just know we are here for you.
    xx
    Height: 5'9''
    CW:126lbs
    HW:168lbs
    LW:113lbs
    GW:112lbs

    Pounds to lose

    14 13 12 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

  4. 05-14-2009 #4
    meltingaway
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    Sorry to hear you're having a bad day

    Me too. Nice to not feel totally alone in feeling like this, though I know it doesn't help much.

    I agree with ab - maybe have hot bath & just hide for a bit xxx

  5. 05-15-2009 #5
    willpower
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    willpower is offline Junior Member
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    Default

    thanks for your support guys. leg is ok, i havent self harmed for years. i've lost f*ck all this week, feel like such a fat lump gonna try so much harder next week. i dont konw why but im having a week where i actually want to eat!!! does that mean a miracle has happened and im cured? xxx although i had to cut myself to cope!
    goal - 50, 49.5, 49 48.5, 48, 47.5, 47, 46.5, 46, 45.5, 45, 44.5, 44, 43.5, 43, 42.5, 42, 41.5, 41, 40.5, 40, 39, 38.5, 38 goal - so far....)

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