Why does Ana ruin stuff?

[maestro]

Bit of a rant, been really low- suicidal for the past day.

i was really close to someone, we were like sisters she meant the WHOLE world to me. She used to be ana and have NEVER tried to ruin her recovery i have always supported her, encouraged her to eat because she was ashamed of her past with ana because she was hurt and feels it was down to ana.
She told me that she wont be talking to me for a while because i am going to dampen her recovery... i had enough, i was doing well again- had 100 cals then ruined it. i ate, i know that being sick isnt right but some reason feel i should.
Why does ana have to ruin the good things? i hate it i hate it i hate it...

I NEVER CHOSE TO BE ANA :'(

[hana1990]

im sorry your feeling like this, ive lost my best friend over ana coz in her eyes i was silly, attention seeking and i should just shove a load of food down my throat some people choose ana, others dont, n she didnt realise tha i never would have chose this for myself, its like, built in

hope you work it out in the end anyway hun
x