:/

[lua]

i feel so bad lately.

i wasn;t exactly fat as a kid, until i hit about 10, i think. my parents were entering this competition with kitkats- there was a code on each wrapper. as a result i'd go and sit in my parents room and gorge, eating about 14 in one sitting, each day. and it all went downhill from there, to the point where i was thirteen, ***stone and disgusting.

since last summer, i've lost ** stone, generally weighing about ***
it's been the best year of my life since, and i think i've associated the weight loss with being happy. in the past couple of weeks, i've been running three or so miles a day. it's ended in an ankle injury, and to make up for not running, i've cut down to about ***edit**calories a day, or less. i've completely cut out e-numbers, as much salt as i can, and i drink tea and water all the time, and not much else.
thing is, i hate it.
i've had a few friends who;ve suffered anorexia. i've cried over it, i know the consequences and how it tears people apart, and i can't stop. i feel so fat all the time- i'll start to eat more and then the slightest comment will bring me down.

the worst thing recently has been my recently-dumped boyfriend. he used to call me fat and hassle me to lose weight. before him, i was pretty happy with my size. now i feel disgusted constantly. ***edit** i try to make cries out, but no one catches on. i hate it, i honestly hate it, and it's spiralling out of control. i'm sick of people telling me to stop without listening. that just makes me want to eat less and less.

so. any words of wisdom from anyone? i need someone to talk to, either pro or against, to swing me one way or the other. enjoy what i'm doing, or stop what i'm hating.

[Tessa]

How do u make yourself only eat ***edit**calories a day? I would really love to do that!!

What is a stone? How many pounds?

Who cares ab that boy!! You will have many more boys.- Better ones too.

Tessa