Hey everyone Im new here

So heres my story ...
First off, my name is Melenie. Im 21 years old.

I struggled with anorexia from age 14-18 ... I was 5'8", 120 lbs ... I have since recovered, and gained a LOT of weight. Over the last 3 years that I have stopped my e.d. I have gained 80 lbs. Im ridiculously fat, and I feel like i can see EVERYTHING i eat find a home in the rolls on my body.
So, the bottom like is, I am attempting to pick up my anorexia again. I dont recall how I started it to begin with .. now that Ive been trying to fast I cant do it. I give up in the same day that I begin. Im looking for tips and tricks to help me at least through the first few days of my fast, to get past the hardest part. I want to lose at least 50 lbs. I know that wont happen overnight ...
Im looking for advice from people who have had success with fasting .. how long should I fast for at a time? and if I fast for a week straight, how much weight do you think Ill lose, and do you think it will be noticable?
Im desperate here .. my boyfriend is skinnier than me .. and Ive always been the skinniest of all my friends .. we used to be able to share clothes and stuff, and now I cant fit into their size 5's anymore! Any advice will be greatly appreciated. You can either reply here, or email me (Mellinnead@yahoo.com).
Thanks for everything guys! Think thin!