why do i do this to myself.....

[getting.there.]

i have only had one boyfriend my whole life but i have slept with 8 different guys....why? because i want to be loved and i think thats the only way to get it....with sex..part of me knows its wrong but part of me thinks its the only way to be loved....i want love but im not sure how to go about it.....i also blame some of it on my e.d. cause before it i never threw myself at guys....errrrr.

[faketoeffect]

i know what are you feeling..... i have had two boyfriends with who i have had sex. With the first one i was 1year togahter and with other it makes 9 months soon. With my last boyfriend i have had difficult realationship and about in october i dumped him couse he was cheating me... and after that i started have one night realationships...i slept with 3 other guys...before the october i never had one night stands.. actually i feel myself dirty, but another side i got more experienced...i havent told it to my boyfriend(we are togahter again)... sleeping with other guys made me feel good, like a revange to my boyfriend...i felt that not only my boyfriend wants me but also there are more guy to who i like and desire me.... i think i wount do it anymore..couse i never liked or supported one night stands... but never say never..