out of control.

[freakout its sadie]

i promised myself i wouldnt eat anything.
i was doing good all day, until i got home.
i was just wanting to eat everything in sight.
i was so freaking hungry, i just couldnt get full.
i made oatmeal cookies, ate about 10 of them
then i had a sandwhich with peanut butter and butter.
then i ended up cooking fried potatoes and drowning them in olive oil and cheese.i ate about 5 potatoes, then i had some vegetable soup, some leftover subway, pizza,elephant ears ,crackers, anything you can imagine.
it went down my throat,only a few seconds of pleasure.
and then afterward, i felt horrible
disgusting, FAT,hideous and ugly.
why do i do this to myself?
i threw it all up, and i feel worse than ever.
im so scared, i dont want to die, i dont want to have to do this to feel okay about my body. im sick of overating and puking up my guts, my mouth and throat is so damn sore, im shaky and weak, and i still look like a fat ass whale.please somebody help me?i cant take this anymore.
im out of control.

[linia]

I have a post above about devising a treatment plan for bulimics if they are willing to do a study, who is say you can't learn along the way.

you are saying help you are out of control, that is exactly why I am posting I am learning to become a eating disorder therapist. It is a free program for now because when I go into the field soon I won't be giving away free treatment programs nor will I necessarily have an expert checking over my devise program. Read my post and maybe we can help each other. If not good luck anyways and I am here to support you either way.

[trustno1]

you know what you need?
to be nutured.


find yourself a lover/boyfriend/girlfriend if you don't already have one.

take a soothing bath that's long and calming.

reread your favorite book or rewatch your favorite movie.

breathe deep when cravings strike and think that all that binging will simply hurt your body and not fill the hunger within (so very true).

try to eat normally, if hungry make youself a meal of salad, a sandwich, and a glass of milk.

[pulpeOrange]

I agree with the last post but I also think one of the most important things is to not starve yourself. Being hungry is the worst trigger. Your body needs energy remember. You can eat and not gain weight as long as you still burn more energy than you take in. Eat things that make you full (high fiber and protein) and things that make you feel like you're eating a lot when you're not (veggies, salad, soup etc). And I agree about making sure you have people around you. Having a boyfriend really helps and if you don't have one, friends are great too.