breaking the news.

[allie.mo]

so i've been dating this guy, and it's getting really serious. i love him so much, and trust him with everything. i feel so horrible about hiding my bulimia from him.. i feel like i'm lying and hiding a huge part of who i am. i want to tell him.. but i don't. ya know? something like that could do some damage ha.

has anyone else gone through this? how did it turn out.. i just feel so guilty :/ and how do you even bring something like this up haha. eeeeeeeeeeeek

[Lithium]

I'm going through the EXACT same thing
We've been together for 2 years now.
That's pretty much how long my bulimia has been going on for...

I just tell him that I have 'an eating disorder', and explain, as minimally as possible, that my problem is that I'm too concerned with what food I eat, and I have an obsession with exercising it off... He hates this, but he's come to accept it as just being a part of my habits... He knew from the start that I was 'a little' concerned about my weight (I wasn't even near to overweight, if anything, between average to low BMI, it's just that I'd put on a bit of weight after being put on this bloody medication for clinical depression / anxiety - Avanza).
Anyway, I feel so horrible too... My Dad always tells me not to let him know, as I don't want to scare him off... Besides, I'm working my way to recovery! I'm seeing a psychotherapist and all. And he knows this.

I guess my answer then would be, how tight are you with him? How long have you been together... Is it really a part of who you are? I don't think so... I see it more as a persistant sore lump in the back of your throat, that some people are willing to try and swallow, as much as it hurts, while others let it pass. Do you want to get over your bulimia? If you do then I think it's safe to keep it to yourself and just let him know subtle details like I did, and that it's something that you're going to get over. Otherwise, if it's something that you do of your absolute own will, you should probably mention it at some point.. I don't know how, but yeah...

[allie.mo]

well, we've been dating for about ten months now. and we're very close, i feel like i can talk to him about everything. thats the problem i think, i feel like i can talk to him about this but i don't know if i should. you never know how someone would react to things like this.

one time when we first started dating we were watching tv with a bunch of people and nicole richie came on the screen (in her really skinny days). he yelled "stop throwing up!" to the tv. it hurt my feelings so bad i ran into the bathroom and started bawling. i know he didn't do it on purpose, and to most people it would be funny. thats another reason why i'm scared to tell him. i think since i'm getting better i'll just keep it to myself for now. unless it gets really serious.

[butterflykisses]

If you trust that he really cares about you I think you should tell him. Honesty is a major part of a relationship.. if he loves you he should except you for you (even with your flaws). And who knows maybe he can help you through it and support you with it. Good luck, let me know how it works out.

[allie.mo]

that is true, it is a big part of who i am (no matter how much i wish it wasn't). but how do you even bring it up? hahaha. "so guess what.." lol. i dunno.

[jane_rabbit]

Just sit him down and tell him you need to talk to him about something that's pretty difficult for you to talk about but that you feel you want him to know because he's an important person in your life.
Make it clear that although it's part of you, it doesn't neccessarily define you.
He won't understand it fully though, it's virtually impossible to if you've not been through it. And even then it still pretty hard to understand. Doesn't mean he can't do his best to be there for you and support you though.
Good luck!

[Carolynns146]

I know what u mean... I have been with my bf for a year and he has no idea... however I am very open with it with some close friends and yes they care but it never changed any part of our friendship...

[bstarr]

I am married and I have still not been able to let him know as well as my family. I feel that they will be totally against it and if they knew they would try to get me to stop and I am not ready for that.
Good luck with your decission, hopefully he understands.Let us know what you decided.

Bobbi

[gem]

i cant believe you guys have told so many people!

it took me so long to tell even one person, turned out she was bulimic too, has been for a lot longer than me.

i told my boyfriend not long ago, he was great...but when i told him i knew i woudl have to stop, actually stop, not jsut keep promising that i will. he's living with me so hell be able to keep an eye on me most of the time.

i thought it was such a great first step, but the moment i had a day away from him i b/p'd 3 times.

i think its hard, (so hard) to tell someone, but if its going to help you stop, then you should.