I think I have the steps down now.

One, two three.

Binge, starve, hate.

“Drop him,” she says.

Terror on my face – I can’t believe she can be so heartless and cold.

One, two, three.

Starve, binge hate.

“I said, drop him!” she screams.

She’s not as powerful over me than Ed - at least for now. I’m able to fight her somewhat - at least to a point where I’m in control short-term. I go along with her antics for small periods of time.

One, two, three.

Starve, binge, hate.

But in the end Ed is the one I belong to. But, he makes me gain and she makes me lose.

One, two, three.

Starve, binge, hate.

But oh she fights, and she fights hard.

“These highs you speak of, you think they’re from HIM? Don’t kid yourself, sister! You say you like to eat at parties, but realize now that you are high with me at those parties - before Ed even looks out for your needs.”

One, two, three.

Starve, hate, starve.

“See how easy it is? See how much better it is? I’ve told you before, but are you listening to me this time? I’m not the liar. I love you and want to help you. I watch you with Ed and I know you’re not happy. He will leave you but I’ll always be here. Don’t you see? I was here when you were 16…when you were 17, again in your early 20s…how about when you lost your twins? That was hard wasn’t it? I was THERE for you and he didn’t care. He fucked off and left you alone when you needed support the most!”

I misstep, confused of where the beat is…

Starve, hate, starve, misstep.

The dance is changing…no longer do I feel the beat of one, two three. This is the freedom I’ve been longing for - starving for.

One, two, three, four.

Starve, hate, starve, hate.

Ah sweet bliss of the new steps. I feel wonderful! And, I am even lighter now.

“See how sexy you are because of me? See how much better it is with me? How many times do I need to ask you those questions? I am picking up the pieces as we dance, as I speak.”

One, two, three, four.

Starve, hate, starve, hate.

“By the way, bitch, you’re not dancing fast enough and your intake is too high.”

One, two, three, four.

Starve, hate, starve, hate.

“Don’t you see?” she asks. “I told you so!”