Just went to a party, i was the thinner one, all the rest were happy..

[Madlylove]

Hello to allof you. This is the first time that i am posting in this forum although i have been reading a lot the last few months.

I just wanted to share that one of my myths just crashed.
I always thought that when i will be skinny i will be more beautiful and much more happier.
I am thinner now, 105 pounds (but not skinny as i have loads of fat in my legs) but i am not happy. I hate my body as much as i hated it at 130.

So i went to this party, it was on a boat, and what i saw was average people, many of them with many pounds heavier than normal and they were all smiling, drinking, eating and dancing. They were all happy!!!
Noone cared for the calories in food or in the drinks. Of course i didnt consume anything so spend most of the time sitting alone watching others having a great time.
And of course all the girls were wearing their swimming suits, and they all had boyfriends that didnt care if they were 20 pounds heavier, they lovethem anyway.

How is it posdible to logically understand that happiness is not a matter of weight, we see it everyday, and still believe that i am not happy because of my weight..

[black_swan494]

omg, i soo much felt like u before!! and i have to say, i really DO know that i'm not happy even though i'm skinny. but for me, it somehow isn't about being happy. it's about being looking skinny, and vulnerable. i think ppl care more about me when i look quite small and they notice me more and would think " aww..she's s tiny and pretty! " oc that's not reality but in my mind it makes sense :/
and i was once 90 kg and i def were a loooot happer then. now i'm down to bout 45.

[JaydeNJ]

I don't believe that weight correlates directly with happiness. How can we be happy when we depirive ourselves of nutrients that help our brains feel happier?

Now, because I am plus sized, I do think that part of me will be happier when I'm able to wear normal sized clothes because let's face it, fat people don't belong in most of the rubbish they're trying to get us in, like mini skirts and leggings. I'd like it if I didn't look like a whale in my plus sized jeans...

[Madlylove]

For me it all begun because i thought that i would wear what i wanted and that guys will like me more. And you know what, i dont wear what i want because i hate my body and guys do notice me exactly the same. Only now i amnot the sweet funny girl i once was so they come, they speak to me and leave afte a while..

Or we start a relationship and summer comes and i break up with them because i dont dare to go to the beach and let them see me with my swimming suit and see the fat and the cellulite..

I swear to you most girls were 20-30 pounds heavier than me ang guys just loved their curves. I see this, i understand it, i accept it but when its time to wear my swimming suit, i d rarher die than let a guy that i like see me with it..

Normal sized people or fat people that dont pay attention to their body are more happy and get much more attention because they
make others happy as well..

[sophiebuster]

I find that the skinnier i get the more unhappy i get bevause my mind just gets caught up in the food and calories etc, and i forget everything else. It makes having friends so difficalt, and getting on with family unbearable because no-one understands and i just resent them. I went to a wedding the other day and all i felt was jealousy of the larger girls who looked so happy and beautiful, even tho they were heavier. But still i cant stop obsessing about myslef being too fat :/

[apparent.]

I'm sorry. It's a pretty shit feeling; being the anorexic one at a party... 'cause you can't really eat, and drinking's a bit... you've got a goal weight to aspire to, and when you're trying to keep 'on track' (it's pretty bad right now with the whole eating thing), alcohol calories can't be negated... And you just feel alone. But that's that. And even if it stops you in your tracks, that's just that - you can't really... have fun.

Sorry. :-(

... But you can have fun, like, on your own. And I found an eating disorder helped me with that, sorta in the same way some people feel about prison...

>_<

[Sorenia]

Not sure if what I chime in is along the same idea , but I have seen these girls that r not super skinny yet the guys r all over them.

I wish it was that easy for me. To me yeah they can be rly pretty at their weigt however its not that way for me.

At their size I am horrific a horrible fat lazy disgusting waste of life that repulses everyone that is FORCED to look at me as I cross their line of sight.

I envy their confidence and their ability to accept their belly pouch or normal thighs. It looks good on them... but on me It would cause nightmares because I am hideous no matter what size I am and god forbid I go withoug makeup.

[skinnylove21]

I don't believe that weight correlates directly with happiness. How can we be happy when we depirive ourselves of nutrients that help our brains feel happier?

...

This is so true. Studies actually show that some foods can change your mood (happy (fruits), sad( junks) ). I don't know if they are accurately correct , but i know how i feel when i finish eating fish/chips compared to eating grapes or an aubergine salad.

OP, i understand what you mean. For instance, last year i hit one of my lowest weight i was so proud of my self, because i thought it would make me more confident at this dance that my school had been planning for a year. However, at the dance, i didn't enjoy my self at all (too weak). But i did noticed that everyone there that had fun, were those who seemed very happy with their body.

[alm0ndmilk]

I used to feel the exact same way. I never used to go out, or hang out with any one. I was completely convinced that until I was at my goal weight, it was impossible for me to be fully happy. But one day I just realized that it was bullshit. You can be happy at ANY time, at ANY weight. It's a choice YOU have to make for YOURSELF, you have to love yourself unconditionally, which means no matter what the situation is or what you look like.

I just decided to look at things outside of my insane little mind, and I saw that girls who weighed 20, 30, even 60+ pounds more than I did were happy and loved life. Also girls with scars, imperfections, problems that I didn't even have, managed to be happy as well. I saw that and realized, with everything I'm lucky enough to have - a family, friends, a comfortable bed to sleep in, food readily available - there's no reason for me NOT to be happy. Some kids in Sudan would be ELATED to just have a box of cereal sitting at their front door. You have to take things into perspective. I did, and now I'm a lot happier with my life in general, and have the confidence to do things I couldn't before; I've made lots of new friends because I'm not afraid to be myself anymore. I made a 2010 on my SAT and got my GPA up to nearly a 4.0 because I had the confidence in myself that I could do it. Stuff like that.

Even though I'm still trying to become skinnier, it makes the journey a lot easier and less stressful if you learn to love yourself on the way. I think of it as "I'm happy now, but I'd be even MORE happy if I was thinner".

Sorry if this was long but I feel really passionate about this topic. Good luck to all of you & I hope you soon learn to be happy.<3

[Madlylove]

I am so glad that some of you have managed to find a balance, and so sad for all the rest of us who are unable to see all our charismas and traits that make us unique. All we can see is the fat..
Have we been borned with a f***d up mind?

Why cant we just enjoy the simple things like all the rest? A delicious plate with wine?
I am catching myself seeing other people eat eg fried potatoes and i want to ask, dont you care about the calories? How is it
possible?

Our minds doesnt work properly and i dont know what to do.
I want to be happy like all the rest and go to parties, and drink and dance and smile and instead of this i am just sitting in the corner seeing larger girls having fun with their boyfriends and leaving with them. Of course i got home alone, depressed, and one pound lighter.. Big success..