I feel especially fat today...

[jessietea]

I've been trying to recover on my own lately, for about the past 2 weeks. For a long time I was just staying around the same weight, which is already underweight so although I wasn't my idea of "perfect" I still felt good about my weight. Last night I was dumb and weighed myself after eating and stuff, and I weighed what I weighed in November. Plus, today my thighs seem like they almost touch again and my hipbones are barely there. I have a friend who also has an ED (she doesn't know I do though) and she is shorter than me and weighs 5-7 pounds more than me but I think she looks thinner and she has hip bones and I just feel insanely terrible. Plus I won't be able to restrict or fast for the next few weeks before my trip to Spain because my parents have been on me lately about eating a lot and Sunday is my birthday so I have big meals planned for me. I have all of this stuff that won't let me restrict, and I feel fat, and then I have to go to Spain for a month where I'll want to be at least trying new food (It's a once in a lifetime thing!) but I have to go to the beach every day! The thought of swimsuits and almost touching thighs makes me want to cry.

What a great sixteenth birthday gift, feeling fat.

[LisaMay]

Firstly, without even seeing you I can tell you that you aren't fat. It's just this horrible eating disorder doing it to you. Your friend probably doesn't look skinnier- you just have distorted vision. If she has an ED she probably thinks you look skinnier than her. I know it's horrible when you feel fat, and I feel sad that you feel like that Nobody deserves that.
But just try and enjoy your holiday okay?
People who are super skinny look stupid in swimsuits anyway

I hope you're okay, and happy birthday honey
x