You can call me Mel

I'm 22, and I've had some issues with food in the past but this year things have really gotten out of hand. I've fallen into a cycle where I eat, binge, feel bad about it, start restricting, lose a little weight, and then fail and start the cycle all over. I feel like I have no control over my eating or my weight or my appetite or my health or anything. When I was younger I used to know when I was hungry and when I was full and now I don't and it feels like my entire body is in chaos from day to day. It's starting to scare me, to be honest. I'm doing pretty drastic things to restrict myself, too.

Never been diagnosed with anything because I've never spoken about this to anybody. I hate talking about it right now even--but I think I need to. So that's why I signed up. I don't know what I am, I don't even know if I technically have an ED. I only know I have an increasingly screwed up relationship with food and eating and I want that to change.

Hope I'm in the right place. Thanks for listening.