i came back from uni about a week ago, and my mom just called my therapist to make an appointment. i saw her twice when i was home from break in december, but other than that, i haven't seen her since last summer. when i was in london i tried seeing this british therapist she'd recommended, but it was really stilted. we didn't talk about anything and i felt like it was a total waste of money.

for the past 5 months every time something big or bad happened, i kept thinking "it's okay, you'll talk about it with H when you get home." now i'm home, and she has no space for me. she's cut down her hours, so she only works 3 days a week. she just had a baby 2 years ago, and she has another child as well, so i understand that she wants to work less, but in these smaller hours i don't fit, and i'm just so sad about it. she left me a voicemail suggesting i make an appointment for june 29th, which is ages away, and after that she doesn't know if she'll have availability..

she prescribes me my pills.. if i have to stop seeing her, how will i get them? and who will i talk to? i'll see her for one hour in like 2 weeks, but i have 5 months worth of shit to talk about and nobody else to say it to. when she went on maternity leave, she had me see another therapist, and i hated it. starting over is so awful.. i can't do it. i'm just so bummed. she was like a second mom, and i wish she would kick somebody else out to make time for me

okay, rant over. i'll get over it