I Can't Even Do This Right..

[SelfHarmDancer22]

First off my name is Skie. (yes, that is my real name.)

I don't know what I'm really looking for.. Just to know that I'm not alone I guess.

I've never been diagnosed with an ED, because up until this year, I'd never had a problem with eating. When I was younger I was called "fattie" and was told by my dance teacher I would never make it pro.. Then January rolled around.

Thanks to a Boy, I started cutting, and restricting my food, and working harder in my ballet classes.
Then later in January, a "friend" tripped me, which resulted in me needing surgery on my knee cap (I have terrrrrrible bones and joints). I was on crutches for 3 months, and felt totally lost without dancing. (I've been dancing since I was 6months)
^ That sent me into a spiral. I still am not released to dance, I've slowly lost control over cutting, and I'm slowly restricting more and more. Ana is slowly becoming closer and closer to me, making promises to me.. Ones that can, for once, be kept.

I'm totally uncomfortable with my own skin, and maybe after I get to my GW, I will be. But who knows..

Honestly, I just want to prove to my dance teacher that I CAN make it, that I CAN be a professional. Then, I will be worthy of food.. Maybe.

[misspixi]

oh hun I am sorry to hear about all this...I hope you can get back into dancing and irregardless of what ana says you are worthy of fueling your body. Remember your body will need fuel to dance Good luck

[SelfHarmDancer22]

Thanks you lovely. I really hope I can too. And I try my best to think that.. She's just extremely persuasive.

[misspixi]

she dont know what she is talking about :-P