i dont know what to do
for 3 years i have been hiding it
the restricting, the laxatives, the attempted purges and now the cutting
my mom fuking read my journal while i was away
and her and my dad sat down with me today and they were crying and it was horrible
i have to go to a doctor tomorrow
im so scaredd
im scared of gaining weight..im also scared of going on the scale tomorrow and seeing how much ive gained
im scared of whats going to happen
im also scared that my friends will treat me differently
i dont know what to do
Closed Thread
Results 1 to 8 of 8
-
06-13-2011 #1
- Join Date
- Apr 2010
- Posts
- 173
They found out -please respond asap!!!
-
06-13-2011 #2
- Join Date
- Apr 2010
- Posts
- 173
please u guys im so scared
-
06-13-2011 #3
- Join Date
- Apr 2011
- Location
- Canada
- Posts
- 1,407
Oh gosh I don't really know what to say. I know how scared you must be though. I was absolutely convinced that my sister read my online journal and I was freaking out, thinking she would tell my mom and all hell would break loose. Nothing happened so I guess she never read it but my point is: I know the feeling.
Just remember...you can't change what happened. The best thing you can do is accept it. You have a big ordeal ahead of you but you CAN get through it. One day at a time. Even one hour/minute/second at a time!
My advice is to be as cooperative as possible because putting up a fight will only make everything more stressful and crazy. I really hope it goes well at the doctors tomorrow. Oh and another thing: I cannot stress the importance of communication. Talk to the doctor and be honest. Be open with your family and tell them how you're feeling. If they do something that upsets you, tell them it upsets you. Eating disorders can really mess up the family dynamic if you let secrets, lies, and anger take over.
We're here for you <3
-
06-14-2011 #4
- Join Date
- Jan 2011
- Posts
- 1,325
oh no. that's not good. :/ i know exactly how you feel. when my parents found out, there was a lot of crying also. everybody cryed. my dad, my mom, my sisters, my friends, me. and they made me go to the doctor, too. my mom even went to this self-support/therapy thing. everything just because of me. i felt horrible. eventually (when i had reached bmi 13) i couldn't handle the pressure anymore and started bingeing. i think in the end it saved my life.
so i know it makes everything harder when they know but it might save your life, too. hope you're ok.
-
06-14-2011 #5
- Join Date
- Jun 2011
- Posts
- 11
you dont need them. you are beautiful! what are they gonna do? cram the food down your throat? they cant put you in the hospital with out probably cause, and a journal really isnt enough
stay beautiful!
-
06-14-2011 #6
- Join Date
- Jan 2010
- Location
- NYC
- Posts
- 982
My mom found out pretty much the same way. She searched my room while I was in the hospital for something unrelated and found my journal so I know it feels like a complete invasion of privacy. It's really horrible but something good might come out of it. If your friends do treat you differently at first it will be because they have no idea what to do so just talking to them about what's going on and telling them how they can help is really the best thing you can do in regard to your friends. I think it's also important for them to find out only when you're ready for them to know. Friends can be absolutely wonderful for support. I think it's really important for them to be there for you.
I know the thought of gaining weight can be terrifying. Hopefully it won't go too quickly and it will be easier for you to adjust to it. One thing you can do if you really don't want to see the number is ask to be wieghed backwards. That helps some people.
I really hope things work out. I know the thought of treatment can be really scary, but you might end up recovering or at least learning more about why you have your ED. PM me if you ever want to talk or just rant.
Will you keep us updated on what's happening?I've given up
-
06-14-2011 #7
- Join Date
- May 2011
- Location
- US
- Posts
- 229
aw I've been there in a similar situation - not the same - but with people finding out and having to confront the issue. It's a horrible feeling! It's intense but over time things settle and it becomes less overwhelming. Hang in there!
The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow Roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars, and in the middle, you see the blue center-light pop, and everybody goes ahh...
-
06-14-2011 #8
- Join Date
- Apr 2010
- Posts
- 173
update:
they weighed me and i weigh the same as when i didi my last checkup but the doctor still diagnosed me with an eating disorder
they also gave me antidepressant pills
my mom also wants me to go to a facility and they are assessing me later this month to see if i qualify..
Posting Permissions
- You may not post new threads
- You may not post replies
- You may not post attachments
- You may not edit your posts
