Hi, I'm Katy.

[Kaity]

Hello everyone,

My name originally is Kaitlyn but my friends tend to call me Katy, and I love it.

I'm 20 years old, and currently, I live with my mum, and a couple of my siblings.
I have 3 brothers and 3 sisters total. As well as two nieces.
My dad hates me, he's an alcoholic, and abused my mother mentally and bullied her for years.
It's nice to see my mum happy after 27 long years of hiding.

Me, I'm friendly, I have a sense of humour, and love to help anyone I can. I care for those in my life and tend to warm to people easy because I'm always there and listening, and genuinally feel empathy or whatever for other people's stories.

Basically, If I can't sort my own life, why not sort others?

All my life, I've been bullied, and made to feel like I was never good enough. Truth be told, I'm here because my doctors and psych... i can't spell, sorry.. told me to.
Well, I feel like somedays, yeah I want to get better and I want help, but other times (like right now) I don't.
To me what's important is being a size zero and being nothing
I feel like I'm nothing and was never meant to be anything, I'm worthless.
And bullying never helped those feelings nor did a lot of other things but let's not address that here.
I've been hospitalised numerous times due to suicidal attempts, bulimia and anorexia.
Ever since I had full blone anorexia, I've never been the same, the same guilt still lives on.
I go up and down, but lately, all I am is down.
I vomit EVERYTHING. I can't have any calories in my body. I'm exercised obsessed, I cut, I abuse my anti depressants etc... you name it.
I cut myself, and inflict pain becase i feel, it's what i deserve.
I guess i'm being so open because i feel my family just don't get it, theý don't care at the end of the day, and they've had enough, it's like i'm 20 by now i should be over it?
I wish i was, I wouldn't wish this crap upon anyone.

All that aside.

I'd love to meet new people, just chat, or anything..

Nice to meet all of you, hope we can become close buddies

And wish you all the best with everything.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[Tami]

Hi Katy.. its great to meet u
i feel for u.. and im 19 i sommmmetimes get tht feeling from my family like theyve had enuff or watever.. but i must say it didnt get as worse as ur case with hospitalisation n all that.. i hope things get better for u and if u need anything i'm right here
if i wasnt online u can PM me
i joined here yesterday and im also hopin i'd make some friends
try remembering those times when u actually wanted to get better when u wanted to get help.. how were these days? why did u feel that way how cud u get that feeling back?

[Kaity]

Hello!
Lovely to meet you,
and thank you for replying, means the world.

I actually can't remember times where I was happy, nor where I genuinally wanted to get better, fully. Which Is what scares me.
So I thought that maybe If I joined here, where there are loads of people just like me or with similar if not worse issues, then maybe I could start getting better through that, or at least feel supported.

I'm also here for you, whenever you need a shoulder or an ear (even though this is only online lol) I'm always here to listen!

Hope you're enjoying the day

xxxxxxx

[Dainty]

Oh Katy, I completely understand the whole bullying thing. I used to be bullied because I was quite scrawny and they used to put me in this massive basin bathroom sink and turn the hot taps on. I developed BED and gained tonnes of weight, then got bullied because of that. Whenever I'd 'recover' I'd get some pointless comment which would start me off again. It really screws you up.

How long were you bullied for? and how old were you? I'm here if you ever need support sweetie. X