Hi, I'm new :-)

I'm 17. My name is Martine and I'm from France.
I believe I'm anorexic. Kinda failed, but still.

In the second half of 2009 I've lost a bunch of weight by restricting. I didn't think it was too much. It felt like the top of the world. But by the beginning of summer 2010 I started bingeing (without purging) and I've gained at least all my starter weight back. Now I feel like a bucket of crap. I've been trying to get back and lose the weight ever since, but I'm failing. I don't understand what's happening, but when I diet and fast religiously, nothing goes away in the first days, then I get disappointed and stuff my face. I can't seem to ever stop.

I'm not here to get better. I'm not here to be told to consider recovery. I'm just here so that someone would hold me accountable for my goals. I need my old ways and body back.

Are you with me?