Re: Back and forth from getting better

[ghostgirl]

So i wasent to sure where to post this. I used to be ana and bulimic, i was down at a really low weight, i went onto treatment 1 year ago and gained a whole bunch . Now i weigh a lot more and im at m'y breaking point, i have found m'y self counting calories and getting rid of meals again iwant to stay strong but all i Can think about was how happy i was When i was thin. No one knows im doing thèse things to myself again but im not ready to be fat. I dont know what to do.
Anyone else have this problem ?

[lifenbones]

I'm guessing you are quite tall, bc at the minimum <17.5 bmi at a weight of (edit) is 5'8. I'm only 5'3." I can't relate to you on this at all, but obviously being overweight is not healthy either. Perhaps, seek out a dietician to help loose the extra pounds without falling into old patterns. I wanted to give you a Canadian shoutout! woot woot!

[canunot]

^ For starters we don't know she's overweight also weight and health isn't always the same kind of thing.

Anyhow. I'm sure a lot of people have this problem, you say you went into treatment which must mean you have a professional support base. I strongly recommend getting back in touch with them again and letting them know whats going on. Dietician is a good idea but to work with them you have to be willing to work with them not against them.

Sorry things have taken a spin and fall, it's never a good place to be.

x

[lifenbones]

^ For starters we don't know she's overweight

x

I felt it was safe to assume neither above six feet or likely intensely muscular, I could be wrong of course

[canunot]

Of course you could be wrong. But again. Being a little over a normal weight does not always equal unhealthy human.

[canunot]

And I don't know why you edited your posts to put the bmi stuff in. That's not helpful in any way shape or form. I'm pretty sure she knows the bmi drill.

[ghostgirl]

Im 5'5 , so im over weight i know !. I see a thereapist but she only helps so much, i feel i cant tell her everything. I was doing good untill thé last couple months When i relized how much weight i have gained. Its like its starting all over again. Im. Not happy and i feel duscusting , m'y parents dont understand and are no help and m'y bf dosent know im back to throwing up. . Hé dosent understand either. Im Just so unhappy. I look at food again as thé enemy.

[canunot]

Im 5'5 , so im over weight i know !. I see a thereapist but she only helps so much, i feel i cant tell her everything. I was doing good untill thé last couple months When i relized how much weight i have gained. Its like its starting all over again. Im. Not happy and i feel duscusting , m'y parents dont understand and are no help and m'y bf dosent know im back to throwing up. . Hé dosent understand either. Im Just so unhappy. I look at food again as thé enemy.

The word overweight shouldnt have been brought up nor BMI so don't worry or think about that, the point is you have an ED your weight isn't unhealthy your eating disorder is. A person could be 1lb overweight and that doesn't mean shit so please please try ignore that word okay lovely <3

Right you have the support there, and yeah you dont FEEL like you can tell her everything but if you want to get better enough then you will find that inner power, you have no choice BUT to find it, you deserve to get control back over this. Your metabolism is gonna be shot you know that.
If I were you i'd get it all wrote down and just give it to her in a session, say you feel you'd benefit from some extra support in regulating your eating back into a safe mode.

YOU don't look at food as the enemy but your eating disorder sure does, because it wants you dead, you don't want this ED to kill you otherwise you wouldnt have posted you'd have just gotten on with it so you need to dig reaaaaal deep for that fight you know you have. Weight can be lost HEALTHILY and with history of an ED, under some form of supervision and guidance from a professional. Otherwise it's going to spiral your weights going to get out of control up and down still and down and up and chaos. It isn't worth it. You may as well use the support that so many others don't have.

[ghostgirl]

Thank you ! I didnt even think about writing it down and giving it to her, that is a good idea. And thanks for thé support, i Just hate feeling so down about it and i know i Can say anything here.

[ghostgirl]

And its true about working out, i tried that on m'y own and i Just obsessdd over it When it wasent working so i had to stop