Just wondering if people see what restricting does?
Sometimes I see how pale I am or how bony I'm getting or how baggy my clothing is but mostly I don't. Even when it's obviously a distortion like I go to do a body check where I think a body part should be to brush through air. I know there's a huge element of body dismorphia creeping into my life, but other times I feel quite ashamed of what I see. Can others relate?
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Thread: Do you see what you do? (TW)
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Do you see what you do? (TW)
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I don't have BD, but I can always find somewhere on my body in need of tweaking.
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08-11-2014 #3
Only occassionally, usually I can't see any change. I can see weight gain though, just not loss. Any loss I do have I can never mentally make the link between my eating and the weight loss if that makes sense, like, my head refuses to believe that the amount I was eating isn't enough, and if I was to have a little more I would instantly balloon.
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08-11-2014 #4
Most of the time I feel ugly and fat. Only when I go shopping and compare myself to other girls, I realize how skinny I actually am. But that doesn't happen often though because I am most of the time at home, alone in front of my mirror ^^'
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I see it pretty well usually. There are times when I get upset and don't feel like I've lost any weight at all. And my body usually feels like it's been the same size. But I can see it in the mirror for the most part. And in photos I can definitely see some of it. 90% of the time at least. But lately I've been less focused on my body and more focused on what I eat and restricting so I don't feel greedy. So my body isn't exactly my top concern, just a way of knowing that I'm doing well at not being a piggy.
I'm sorry I have nothing worthwhile to contribute.
http://dolly-bunny-beaarr.tumblr.com/ [may post triggering things but mostly kawaii stuff]
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08-14-2014 #6
Do you see what you do? (TW)
Most times I can see significant weight loss but there will always be parts I think are too big and those parts make me fat even if I can see other parts are really bony. Except when I feel I've eaten too much, then I can look in a mirror and see that I've instantly grown huge. I don't have that much BD, just in denial of the fact that my ED is a problem.
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