Depression and Relationships

[Vyseria]

How do you guys manage?

I try to explain to SO, but it's hard...he tries, he really does, but even he finds it exhausting.

[kessa]

*hug*

how do you try to explain?

[Got Sick]

i wish i had a relationship of any kind

[vodkill]

I've lost friendships and relationships because I'm too much for any sane person to deal with. A few have lingered on longer than others but I'm just realising now that I've pretty much lost everyone. Be it through depression, drinking, antisocial behaviour, mood swings.... ugh, I've driven them all away. I like to think I've isolated so much and that's the main reason. But I think I know deep down it's not just me backing off, but them also backing off.
Explaining it to someone who has never experienced it? Impossible.
In fact a really old friend of mine, perhaps my oldest who stuck around the longest.... she had post natal depression and got over it. Rather than this helping her understand some of my issues it did the opposite. "If I can get over it this quickly.." mentality set in. She doesn't need to spell it out so bluntly, her overall demeanour and words sum it all up. She's even used the word "weak" before. "You just need to be strong"
I haven't spoken to her in over year despite us being friends since we were 5. I wish I felt sad, or at least SOMETHING about it. But when I do it's just more rage.
Relationships are just no go. It's a sex and no more basis for me. I don't seem to even want anything more.
I think I long ago lost the "ah please love me" bollox.

[Vyseria]

*hug*

how do you try to explain?

Well how do you explain my moods? I try to use metaphors, but they sound too poetic...too unreal, if that makes sense. I don't want to isolate him in this way. I don't know if anyone is saying 'it's ok, I can deal with this' honestly, or whether they are lying to me (and themselves).

It's even harder talking to my dad, he doesn't understand how dark it all can get.

@vodkill

But I think I know deep down it's not just me backing off, but them also backing off.

Yeah, it's becoming a taboo in our house.

[whatispants]

In my home, there is no distinction between being depressing and having depression. :/ I am stuck as a happy-go-lucky, optimistic girl who has depression but whom everyone is now accusing of being hopelessly self-destructive and depressing. This does a fab job of encouraging me to shut out my own emotions entirely and creep closer to my eating disorder

I have been coping alright these last two months by working diligently on efficient communication in just ONE trustworthy relationship in my life that I recognized I could feel safe in. Making the effort to take up journaling again helped me begin to re-articulate and get my own thoughts, preferences, interests, and desires through to myself before deciding what it was that my family or others were doing that would provoke me to feel a certain way and shut down completely.

[lyricalindsey]

I just always feel so guilt stricken. He tries SO hard and I'm always thankful for everything he does but this depression has been with me longer than he has. He can't cure me and neither can his sweet gifts or gestures. I can't even cure me.

I try to always make sure to go to therapy and take care of myself emotionally and physically. It helps me not to take it out on him as much. And we do a lot of talking. He's an understanding guy. I'm sure yours is too. *hugs*