How to people do it?? Rant/ TW

[applespice]

Walking past various cafes this morning I passed so many people happily eating full fry-ups/pancakes with syrup/ massive omelettes.. all sitting with friends and chatting like its the easiest thing ever. I guess for them it is. Not only to not *mind* eating all that, but to actually enjoy the whole experience?! It blows my mind. Then I realised that to find this so *mind-blowing* really indicates how disordered I am.
I cant really remember a time when I was one of those people, although for 15 years I was.
I mean, just how can people eat a significant amount without even worrying or caring about the calories? These questions are rhetorical really.. I know that it is the norm for people to eat meals, of course! Its just to my disordered mind, it seems so incredible! My friend just told me she was going for a spontaneous dominoes pizza with her bf for lunch... just... how!?

Anyway, sorry, rant over.

[Lady Persephone]

Walking past various cafes this morning I passed so many people happily eating full fry-ups/pancakes with syrup/ massive omelettes.. all sitting with friends and chatting like its the easiest thing ever. I guess for them it is. Not only to not *mind* eating all that, but to actually enjoy the whole experience?! It blows my mind. Then I realised that to find this so *mind-blowing* really indicates how disordered I am.
I cant really remember a time when I was one of those people, although for 15 years I was.
I mean, just how can people eat a significant amount without even worrying or caring about the calories? These questions are rhetorical really.. I know that it is the norm for people to eat meals, of course! Its just to my disordered mind, it seems so incredible! My friend just told me she was going for a spontaneous dominoes pizza with her bf for lunch... just... how!?

Anyway, sorry, rant over.

*huge engulfing bear hug* No, I totally get you. I hear about my fiance ordering dominoes pizza and another time a curry, or eating a burger with chips from Burger King with absolutely no guilt, and I wonder how that feels. I don't ever remember a time feeling totally guilt free. It's just beyond me. *sigh* Lately, it's the hardest thing in the world to join my family at the breakfast table where I know there'll be all kinds of carbilicious food. I feel like such an outsider.

[applespice]

((LP)) I've missed you here!
I hear you. Sometimes there will be absolutely no way out of it for me.. and in a way, its a relief to have that control taken away from me. Other times though, there is a chance of getting out of it or purging it.. thats when the guilt/anxiety hits.

[Lady Persephone]

(((Applespice))) I mostly lurk every now and then, but as I'm stuck here living with my parents for the moment like some sort of warped frustrated teen, I've made up my mind to try to be more active. No matter what's been going on in my life, good times and bad times . . and really bad times . . . this place has been a solace for me, like a safe haven in a storm.

It's a struggle each day just feeling happy enough to want to eat. I know if I was living on my own again, I could so totally shut down and not eat for a week and just stay comatose. I'm glad I don't have that option open to me. *sigh*

[applespice]

I get that. Are you able to go on fb atm?

[Lady Persephone]

I get that. Are you able to go on fb atm?

I'm sorry love, I couldn't--I had to go back to sleep for a couple hours. It's my time of the month and I'm all achy and feint. *sigh* xxxxx

[bulimiargh]

I suppose they eat less overall than bingers because they fixate less on food and have other things to live for. At least, that's what I'm getting from recovery, for me.

[whatispants]

They probably don't eat like this at every mealtime, and like @bulimiargh said, don't fixate as much on their food and it's nutritional content. The "normal" appreciation of food seems to allow most people eat the occasional calorie laden tasty All-American breakfast whilst enjoying the social experience it embodies.

That's how it was for me at least, when I was leaping out of the house at 3am to meet friends at Denny's before my ed.

[kodachrome]

I often wonder this myself. My ED began only two years ago, so I was one of those people I marvel at now not so long ago. Yet the concept of eating carefree now feels so foreign, a vague wisp of a memory locked away forever. Now food is just a series of cold numbers, all semblance of pleasure stripped.

I miss it. I really do. But I feel like I've opened Pandora's Box, and now I can't forget everything I know about nutrition and food. I wish I could; ignorance was bliss.

[tweedledum]

I have very often wondered the same thing. Its mind boggling to me