Bulimia in college

[pursuitofthin]

So I'm a sophomore in college, and thanks to the gods of the housing lottery, have an apartment with a kitchen.

I'm sure this would be exciting to most, but for me it's been terrible and greatly enabled my b/p. Last year I was in a dorm with public bathrooms, and I purged far less than I do now. I just hate it because normally I feel a lot more in control at school and now I just feel enormously out of control, more than I ever have with this ed.

Also trying to cover it up/ fit it into my schedule/ still do my work is absolutely exhausting, which makes me want to cut down and sometimes I have the will to but sometimes I just break (for example today was horredous and I b/p maybe 5-6 times??) I just absolutely hate it and was wondering if there's anybody out there who can relate.

Does anyone have tips on how to cut back/ stop that has gone through this before?

Otherwise stay strong loves and have a great day!

[recoveringmommy]

I have only posted a couple of times here, but wanted to chime in, because I really relate to your situation. I am not in college anymore, but that's when my ED took off running. Living alone was really not good for me, though I denied that it was a bad thing, for a long time. I kept telling myself that living alone would allow me to have no food in the house, or that living alone would help me to "focus on taking care of myself." It was all bullshit. It definitely led to a huge increase in behaviors. The thing that saved me from myself, was eventually confiding in a friend about the fact that I was struggling. She had noticed I was losing weight, and I knew she suspected was having issues, so I told her, and basically asked her to check in on me nightly (that's when my "sessions" would start. At first I lied to her and kept saying I was fine, when I wasn't, but when I finally realized how miserable, exhausted, angry, and sad I was - and how I was neglecting my classes- I asked her to come spend time with me in the evenings, like studying or watching tv. I certainly still struggled (and still do, many years later), but I honestly don't know how I would have survived without enlisting someone's help.

I am older now, with a husband and 3 young kids, and even when my husband is away or working nights, I have a hard time. I have accepted the fact that for now, I don't do well alone, in the evenings. Maybe someday, but right now, it's something I just have to accept.

Good luck, and enjoy your time in college. It truly is such a small chunk of your life, and one to be cherished. I believe in you!