Just need some support :)

[blue_briar]

Hey all, its been a while since I last posted so I'll give you a quick update: -

p.s. TLDR skip to bottom

Bulimia still grips on pretty tight. I haven't been able to get treatment (i.e. in patient or out patient) because I went back to uni this year... it has been one of the most stressful periods of my life... battling bulimia and trying to return to full-time university studies is beyond stressful and anxiety provoking, but I brought this on myself.

I have put in place markers to notify me when i know its starting to get in the 'severe' ED territory... which I hit 3 months ago and remained in this territory of danger for about 3 months. but now I've started to loose a significant amount of weight (before I was maintaining).. so thats another marker hit :/

The saddest thing is the bloody irony. On my binge days (which, thankfully have reduced to 2-3 times a week from 5-6 times) I consume around 5-10,000 calories. So when I get comments from people, 'you need to eat more'... I secretly go through a mini war-zone with myself.

So thats me till now. But there is positive in all this, (hence the mention of reduction in B/P days!) I have began following a vegan, high carb meal plan (its called something along the lines of RAW TILL 4, 80/20/20). I don't follow it religiously but I basically eat as many vegs & fruit as I want with some legumes. I have significally seen a reduction in my b/p episodes and I intuitively feel like this is the right thing for me right now so I'm really happy to report on that!

TLDR - this is where you chime in ^_^

For the first time in months I have kept something down after the BP episode. Usually when the cycle starts I binge purge 3-4 times in a day and keep nothing down. But tonight I had a nice zucchini pasta with tomato sauce and I'm currently eating 4 dates. I'm feeling a little wobbly, but I know this is a big (important) step because I'm doing something different and cutting the repetitive cycle. so.. I guess I just needed to write this somewhere.. so I know that its important and I know people here will appreciate that

[pearljamx12]

Hey all, its been a while since I last posted so I'll give you a quick update: -

p.s. TLDR skip to bottom

Bulimia still grips on pretty tight. I haven't been able to get treatment (i.e. in patient or out patient) because I went back to uni this year... it has been one of the most stressful periods of my life... battling bulimia and trying to return to full-time university studies is beyond stressful and anxiety provoking, but I brought this on myself.

I have put in place markers to notify me when i know its starting to get in the 'severe' ED territory... which I hit 3 months ago and remained in this territory of danger for about 3 months. but now I've started to loose a significant amount of weight (before I was maintaining).. so thats another marker hit :/

The saddest thing is the bloody irony. On my binge days (which, thankfully have reduced to 2-3 times a week from 5-6 times) I consume around 5-10,000 calories. So when I get comments from people, 'you need to eat more'... I secretly go through a mini war-zone with myself.

So thats me till now. But there is positive in all this, (hence the mention of reduction in B/P days!) I have began following a vegan, high carb meal plan (its called something along the lines of RAW TILL 4, 80/20/20). I don't follow it religiously but I basically eat as many vegs & fruit as I want with some legumes. I have significally seen a reduction in my b/p episodes and I intuitively feel like this is the right thing for me right now so I'm really happy to report on that!

TLDR - this is where you chime in ^_^

For the first time in months I have kept something down after the BP episode. Usually when the cycle starts I binge purge 3-4 times in a day and keep nothing down. But tonight I had a nice zucchini pasta with tomato sauce and I'm currently eating 4 dates. I'm feeling a little wobbly, but I know this is a big (important) step because I'm doing something different and cutting the repetitive cycle. so.. I guess I just needed to write this somewhere.. so I know that its important and I know people here will appreciate that

Well done on your progress to recovery! You sound so motivated it's great. I have tried a raw food lifestyle (vegan) unfortunately my digestive system is so out of whack it caused me huge stomach aches and pains. If I eat anything raw, even like some carrots or an apple my stomach instantly starts hurting. Which sucks, because I really used to enjoy eating carrots and apples but now I cannot enjoy them!

So I wish this lifestyle was for me. At the moment my biggest fear is feeling "full" which doesn't make sense because I can eat one egg and feel soooo full but I'll feel the need to be triggered by that and go on to eat until I physically can't walk. I don't get it!

The zucchini pasta sounds amazing! My other fear right now is how much I know my body is suffering. I have lost so much hair and even with hair extensions I can't believe how fine and brittle it is. It makes me cry sometimes looking back In photos where I was (tw) a little heavier but my hair was so long and thick and healthy. I also miss the colour in my face now I look like a ghost.

I'm motivated by your post to keep something down today. (Something nutritious!!)

Xo

[beautifullypossessed]

I'm so happy to read that you're making progress! That's great and you should be proud of yourself for the big steps forward that you've taken I'm sorry that uni is so stressful! You're dealing with a hell of a lot and you should be proud of how far you've gotten and how hard you're trying, it will all be worth it in the end. I want you to know that I really admire your determination and strength, you're doing amazingly and I am proud

Take care hun, feel free to pm me if you ever want a chat xx

[blue_briar]

Well done on your progress to recovery! You sound so motivated it's great. I have tried a raw food lifestyle (vegan) unfortunately my digestive system is so out of whack it caused me huge stomach aches and pains. If I eat anything raw, even like some carrots or an apple my stomach instantly starts hurting. Which sucks, because I really used to enjoy eating carrots and apples but now I cannot enjoy them!

So I wish this lifestyle was for me. At the moment my biggest fear is feeling "full" which doesn't make sense because I can eat one egg and feel soooo full but I'll feel the need to be triggered by that and go on to eat until I physically can't walk. I don't get it!

The zucchini pasta sounds amazing! My other fear right now is how much I know my body is suffering. I have lost so much hair and even with hair extensions I can't believe how fine and brittle it is. It makes me cry sometimes looking back In photos where I was (tw) a little heavier but my hair was so long and thick and healthy. I also miss the colour in my face now I look like a ghost.

I'm motivated by your post to keep something down today. (Something nutritious!!)

Xo

So sorry to hear that you're body is starting to reject what goes into it I totally recognise that feeling! I sometimes feel food stuck in my throat for an hour after I've eaten it.. or when I burp sometimes food comes up :/

All signs of long-term mia. I'm glad to hear your motivated! My intuition has been telling me for a while now that raw vegan is for me becuase I always feel so good when I'm on it and my mind is clearer than before.

This diet is not for everyone though!!! I'm here for support so send me a PM if you ever want to talk to someone ^_^

[blue_briar]

I'm so happy to read that you're making progress! That's great and you should be proud of yourself for the big steps forward that you've taken I'm sorry that uni is so stressful! You're dealing with a hell of a lot and you should be proud of how far you've gotten and how hard you're trying, it will all be worth it in the end. I want you to know that I really admire your determination and strength, you're doing amazingly and I am proud

Take care hun, feel free to pm me if you ever want a chat xx

Thank you so much. You actually have no idea how tranquil your post made me feel. I really appreciate your kind words xoxo