I've dealt with eating disorders and things for a long time but from 2010-2013 I was doing really well... I had gained weight because I had two children.... but now I have lost my weight and went from 160 post partum to now 128 and im almost 5'7".... I promised id be good when I got to my goal weight but somehow ive lost control.... I purge at least once a day but I also restrict.... so its pretty much purging anything I eat..... but everyone keeps telling me how awesome I look and my husband is 100% interested in me.sexually again.... so yeah.... what to do what to do?
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Thread: Spiraling
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11-08-2014 #1
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Spiraling
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11-08-2014 #2
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I guess I could just use someone who is there?
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11-08-2014 #3
Is the approval of your physical appearance worth more than your health?
you've deal with it for a while, so I don't want to sound preachy, but I suppose you're at a crossroads and you gotta make a choice.
Are you suffering? Do you want to stop? Would these people in your life love you all the same if you recovered and got help, and as a result, probably gained some weight? I think it's important to ask... you may find out that you have a loving accepting community, or people you need to cut out of your life...
I think whatever you decide, it should be for you.
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11-08-2014 #4
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I guess that's the issue.... im well aware that what im doing isnt healthy.... but im at the point where eating and food gives me obscene anxiety.... its not just about physical appearance.... I mean sure... I like to be thin.... but there are people in my life who have made it very clear that its not acceptable for me to be fat.... and I was never overweight.... but in their eyes I was too big.... my mil has pointed out more than once that I did much better losing the weight this than I did before with my first child. Im at the point that I dont even know who I would talk to.
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11-09-2014 #5
First off, you don't owe it to anyone to be a certain weight. And second, there's nothing wrong with being thinner, it's just your eating behaviour that is problematic. 128 at 5'7" is realistic to maintain with a healthier eating pattern.
Do you have the option to talk to a therapist, or at the very least a dietician?
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I agree with that last post I think it's more about how you get to whichever weight you want to be at rather than the weight itself. And for the rest it's really your own choice, your priorities, your voice and what you want for yourself, what is important and valuable to you in your own life. *hugs*
"If I have any taste, it s for hardly anything
but earth and stones.
Let us eat air, rock, coal, iron.
Turn, my hungers.
Feed, hungers, in the meadow of sounds!
Suck the gaudy poison of the convolvuli;
Eat, the stones a poor man breaks,
the old masonry of churches, boulders,
children of floods, loaves lying in the grey valleys! "
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11-09-2014 #7
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I am aware of what is healthy.... I did insanity every day and controlled portions and just ate healthy to lose the initial weight.... it wasnt hard because I was nursing.... now im not and its hard to stop since ive been so focused on counting calories.... and now its like ive reached unhealthy proportions.
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11-09-2014 #8
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Its like the initial weight loss setn off my triggers and now im fixating.... I dont know how to go about getting help. I can't tell family yet.... they will either ignore it or commit me.