13 yrs ago 2 day...

[emily.andrews.90260]

Is when I first became bulimic. I remember it like yesterday. It was Thanksgiving dinner and there were too many ppl around my anxiety was up like crazy and I was only 11 at the time. Someone mentioned that I took too much food or something like that and I remember thinking "if they make fun of me for putting it in than they can't when i take it out." And ever since then I've done it in and off most often when anxiety is highest.

[Thelma]

Painful memories, why do people say these things to children?

The years go by and it will not stop by itself, unfortunately (20 years down the road since my first binge).

Purging is a big stress-reliever but at the same time it generates a lot of stress, et voila, here's a never ending circle.

xxx Thelma

[blue_briar]

I remember the first time I 'tried' to purge (and failed)... then 6 years later I succeeded and the monster took control.

It is horrible snide comments like that which create an eating disorder. I got them all the time from my grandma and my aunty. Constant attacks at what I was eating and my weight.

I remember, more clearly than anything as traumatic...

It was a family gathering and about an hour after lunch. I felt hungry so I went to the kitchen and saw some pasta, which I asked if I can have some - so it was reheated. Whilst I was eating it my aunty says to me (keep in mind I think I was about 10 years of age)

'Do you want a boyfriend or do you want that bowl of pasta'?

My other aunty say's to her 'You can't say that to Her!'

Now, at age 10, I laughed it off and left the room thinking I could shrug off the comment. But the fact still stands that till this day I remember what she said. Its actually the reason I loath her now every time I look at her - because I just remember all the times she would ask me what I was eating... when she called my house and I spoke to her, her first question would be 'What have you been eating? Have you been good?' Those two women are the reason I first developed an eating disorder

[pearljamx12]

I remember the first time I 'tried' to purge (and failed)... then 6 years later I succeeded and the monster took control.

It is horrible snide comments like that which create an eating disorder. I got them all the time from my grandma and my aunty. Constant attacks at what I was eating and my weight.

I remember, more clearly than anything as traumatic...

It was a family gathering and about an hour after lunch. I felt hungry so I went to the kitchen and saw some pasta, which I asked if I can have some - so it was reheated. Whilst I was eating it my aunty says to me (keep in mind I think I was about 10 years of age)

'Do you want a boyfriend or do you want that bowl of pasta'?

My other aunty say's to her 'You can't say that to Her!'

Now, at age 10, I laughed it off and left the room thinking I could shrug off the comment. But the fact still stands that till this day I remember what she said. Its actually the reason I loath her now every time I look at her - because I just remember all the times she would ask me what I was eating... when she called my house and I spoke to her, her first question would be 'What have you been eating? Have you been good?' Those two women are the reason I first developed an eating disorder

I can relate big time to this. My grandma (till this day I don't even like her) always made comments about my weight. I was an overweight child so I already knew I was a bit different from the other kids my age.
Every time she sees me now, the first she talks about is weight. How I look "so good" and "skinny" I hate it.
I avoid seeing her at all costs, to this day it's still a huge trigger to be reminded of such times.

[blue_briar]

I can relate big time to this. My grandma (till this day I don't even like her) always made comments about my weight. I was an overweight child so I already knew I was a bit different from the other kids my age.

Yep I was an overweight child too. I was the 'odd ball out' in the family because no one else was overweight except for my grandfather and well, people tend to put on weight as they age so it was a lot different being the only grand child that was overweight. None of my aunties and uncles were overweight either.

On a slightly different note, my grandma would always make me feel stupid. I remember once she offered me and my cousins some mulberries from her tree. They were in her hand and we just picked them. I saw a nice juicy one but I thought i'd be nice and let my cousins have the choice of picking them.

Right afterwards she goes to me 'so-and-so was smart, did you see he chose the biggest one?'

this wasn't an isolated comment either. She would always boast how my cousins were smart, not once did she use me and smart in the same sentence. I think it was only when I got into university her view changed of me and I think it was a few years down the track when I was shocked she used me and intelligent in the same sentence.

BUT till this day she still asks me what grades I get, and If I'm too stressed to ask for external help. FFS.

.......Damn memories :/

[pearljamx12]

Yep I was an overweight child too. I was the 'odd ball out' in the family because no one else was overweight except for my grandfather and well, people tend to put on weight as they age so it was a lot different being the only grand child that was overweight. None of my aunties and uncles were overweight either.

On a slightly different note, my grandma would always make me feel stupid. I remember once she offered me and my cousins some mulberries from her tree. They were in her hand and we just picked them. I saw a nice juicy one but I thought i'd be nice and let my cousins have the choice of picking them.

Right afterwards she goes to me 'so-and-so was smart, did you see he chose the biggest one?'

this wasn't an isolated comment either. She would always boast how my cousins were smart, not once did she use me and smart in the same sentence. I think it was only when I got into university her view changed of me and I think it was a few years down the track when I was shocked she used me and intelligent in the same sentence.

BUT till this day she still asks me what grades I get, and If I'm too stressed to ask for external help. FFS.

.......Damn memories :/

Sounds like our grandmas would get along!

It's a terrible thing having such memories. People can hurt others so much with words than they can imagine.

I hope you are feeling well xx

[meltydeath]

Yeah. I had an aunt who died recently. She used to say things like that. I especially remember once she said something like "She [my sister] is so pretty and slim. You on the other hand... You should try eating less". That one stuck with me. And she probably weighed at least three times my weight. She and all my other relatives used to constantly tell me I had such a sweet tooth and was such a little glutton. I really don't get why adults think it's ok to talk to children like that.