No friends.

[applespice]

I'm a bit tipsy so will probs delete this later.

I basically have no friends. My 'social' life is made up of acquaintances at work, old friends online (who probably wouldnt call me a friend anymore), my boyfriend and my parents.

I feel like literally everyone else that I know or that I meet has their established friendship group/best friends and they arent looking to make new friends.

I KNOW deep down that I'm not completely repellent and wierd and horrible... BUT, having no close friends or group doesn't really help with the self esteem.

Does anyone else feel this way?

[kodachrome]

Yeah. I feel strange, boring, and unlikable about myself anyway, but being so shy makes me feel even worse about myself.

I have maybe three friends who I see maybe once every few weeks, and then two or three more people who are in the same social circle but who I wouldn't call a friend, more like we're friendly... friends of friends?

I'm friendly with 3 of my immediate colleagues, but our relationship ends outside of work. I get along well with my parents, but although my brother, sister and I are friendly, we're not close. (I also don't see them terribly often, given that I live in another state.)

I feel like literally everyone else that I know or that I meet has their established friendship group/best friends and they arent looking to make new friends.

yes to this so much.

[SkareKrow]

Same way I think people with disorders are in general this way. We are too self conscious and have a certain trust boundary. What we consider friends have to go through a thousand tests to be considered a friend. They don't know they are being tested but we have that mental check sheet built in our heads.

[vacant]

I feel like literally everyone else that I know or that I meet has their established friendship group/best friends and they arent looking to make new friends.

Not true. People come and go from each other's lives, they travel, grow apart etc all the time. Build on the camaraderie you have already and you'll make friends, it's not that difficult. It might take some time though. Don't talk to people unless you really want to. Having too many friends can make you crazy and miserable and unstable. Especially if there are too many of them linked in with others and you don't like them, but you can't cut them off because they're part of a group (unless you want to disrupt it). Pockets of them could turn against you for insincere reasons if you ruffle too many feathers. You don't want to be forcing relationships with people who get too personal and are too intense and they keep getting in your face about it and even stalking you if you walk away or refuse to talk or they don't get the answers they need.

[applespice]

Not true. People come and go from each other's lives, they travel, grow apart etc all the time. Build on the camaraderie you have already and you'll make friends, it's not that difficult. It might take some time though. Don't talk to people unless you really want to. Having too many friends can make you crazy and miserable and unstable. Especially if there are too many of them linked in with others and you don't like them, but you can't cut them off because they're part of a group (unless you want to disrupt it). Pockets of them could turn against you for insincere reasons if you ruffle too many feathers. You don't want to be forcing relationships with people who get too personal and are too intense and they keep getting in your face about it and even stalking you if you walk away or refuse to talk or they don't get the answers they need.

Yeah, this is essentially why I lost contact with old friends as one girl in the group who I was close to was very intense and could be very nasty, soi distanced from her... But with that I distanced from the others too

On a side note... Ha I must have been more than tipsy cos I have no recollection of writing this thread!!

[TicklemeIlly]

I know you made this thread a while ago, despite not remembering it.... But first off, you have meeeeee!

But yes, I feel the exact same way. I'm not friends with the people I knew in high school anymore (despite my old roommate that's in love with me, ugh), every time I get a new job I make friends and when I quit they seem to not have time for me anymore. When I moved away from home after high school the only friends I made in the new state were those co-workers. I just moved again in December and the only people I know are from work who I can't even really call friends at this point since I only see/talk with them at work. And like you said earlier, the people at my school don't seem to want to make new friends.

I don't think you're a weirdo, and I never considered myself as a 'weirdo' that no one wants to be friends with... I don't really know whats up with this! Why is making friends in real life so difficult?!

[coleiscold]

Yup exactly my bf has his friends and he dont care about me anymore. But when he gets fired from the bar and im the only one here well thats probably when i'll take off and leave his ass. Sorry a little angry atm. But yes. You cant just come into a group of close friends and expect them to be open and let you in especially if its friendships that are longer than your relationship with said person. I feel so alone everyday its becoming all to much indeed

[Dreamgirl]

I feel like literally everyone else that I know or that I meet has their established friendship group/best friends and they arent looking to make new friends.

Yes. Same here. <3
I mean... i do have a few friends, but since i had my ed, life has been really lonely, and i distanced myself from so much social stuff and opportunities to get to know ppl.
This is another reason to chose recovery over ed!
you can always talk to me. (And so can everyone else who feels lonely.) We are all in this together sweeties.
if you want, you can find me on Facebook.
Sarah Niclasen.

[straightjacket]

I have two sets of friends.

I have my fake internet friends. These are people who I can tell real secrets to. Because I will most likely never meet you. So I can tell you the horrible truths of my life.

Then I have my RL friends. Around them I am always happy. I am the cheerful outgoing one. I'm the one who talks to everyone all the time. I practice smiling in the mirror. I carefully choose my clothes. I wear boots to make myself even taller then I already am. I watch videos on commanding presence and ted talks on ways to speak with authority. I practice telling jokes to myself.

I have too many RL friends. I end up blowing people off constantly. People want to hang out with the RL me. But the RL me is completely fake, of course. In RL it is best to be completely fake. This is the best way to make people like you. It also is the best way to stay safe! Nobody ever gets to know how to hurt you. And you can't let anyone know. Never trust anyone.

I like my fake internet friends more. I don't know jack about any of you or my other friends. And people will say to me, "Oh but SJ, fake internet friends aren't real!!!"

To that I say that my second oldest friend is a fake internet friend and I have known her for 15 years. I was her fake internet friend when she got married the first time, when she ran away to another country, and married for the second time. Friendships just seem to come in waves. I think we know way too much about each other to ever meet though.

Who knows? She's one of the most amazing people I've ever met and I don't think I am anywhere near as good of a friend as she is. I do try though. I really do. Even though it often doesn't appear that way. I have an open invitation to her home. Perhaps one day I will use it.