I thought I was recovered? Possible TW

[LightHeartedLightHeaded]

I've been bulimic for about seven years.
This summer I met a nice vegan man who turned me vegan and for a while I associated vegan food with not purging and everything was great.

Now I'm right back into my cycles of b/p. Still only eating vegan food. (For ethical reasons) But essentially vegan junk food and everything is the same as it was before. I thought I found the cure, I was wrong.

I even feel like purging juices.

I'm puking everyday and I feel so incredibly fat.

The man I mentioned is actually now my roommate and he made cookies last night and said "I don't like them, you can have as many as you want." And then left the plate of them in the kitchen. I have been eating them, and then trying to arrange them in a way so you can't tell that there is any missing. It's really pathetic and sad and I feel like a teenager* again.

***EDIT** Teenager because that was the age of my life when I lived with my mother and tried to make it look like I wasn't making all the food disappear. Nothing against teenagers.

[blue_briar]

I thought a raw vegan diet was the answer... it wasn't either. I feel your pain. I've 'recovered' (only from bulimia, not ED) twice and relapsed twice.


What do you think it was that stopped you from purging? Maybe if you try grab on to that feeling it might help you try curb the habit again