New to WhyEat

[cherry_blossom]

Hello,

I would like to introduce myself and hopefully find the help I need to seek professional help and begin my road to recovery.

This is my story:

I'm 25 and I live in Somerset in England.
I moved away from home in 2008 to pursue a career and get away from distractions as I use to party every single weekend.
Up until now, I had never really had issues with my body, I thought I was fit and healthy and normal.
Before I moved away, I had a couple of relationships that didn't really work out. I had been cheated on and men had ended things with me for someone else. It wasn't until one of them commented on my weight and said 'put the fork down'. So I did.

I started restricting, trying out all the diet pills, Slim Fast etc. I became obsessed.
I thought this was the reason why I couldn't keep a boyfriend.
I started to become really down all the time and would be upset for no reason. Mainly frustrated because I couldn't lose weight. This carried on for another two years.

I then ended up moving back to Somerset. I didn't live with my family but I was about half an hour down the road. Things were better at this point, I was still watching what I ate but not as bad as before.

I then met an amazing guy who I thought was 'the one'. He was in the army and went away to Afghan for six months and of course I waited for him. I was so in love with him, to the point I felt sick when I wasn't with him. When he came back things were different, I would find out that he had been talking to other girls and making comments that I should go the gym etc. I had been trying to lose weight whilst he was away so I could look 'amazing' for him. He then had a promotion and I moved away with him. I signed up to a gym and went regularly, he told me what I should and shouldn't eat etc. Anyway, after a couple of months, he ended it with me, found out he had cheated and that was the end of that.

This is when things really started getting out of control and I started using laxatives to add to the 'break up' diet. I had lost a lot of weight and people were noticing. I started going to the gym every single day and continuing to take the laxatives as well as restricting. I was taking the laxatives every now and again.

I take them every single day now, they make me feel sick, dizzy, tired, grumpy, I hate it. I know I've most likely done a lot of damage internally (I'm a vet nurse so know how things work). I haven't talked about this to anyone, I don't know how to word it and I'm embarrassed. I've been with my current boyfriend for a year and a half and he has no idea!

If anyone has been in this situation and have managed to get into recovery, I would be so happy to talk to you!

Thank you for reading. xx

[onsomedumshit]

Well first off. Welcome to the site.

My story is alot like yours.
re diet pills/fat burners and laxative abuse.

Any who long story short. Il never give up the fat burners but i have given up the laxatives. It was so hard as my body was relying on them. I couldnt go by myself. Got severely constipated and ended up having tongo back to them to clear myself out. I now take bowel fibre caplets. Do not touch anything doughy or carbs. Drink kiwi crush which is a fibre kiwifruit drink full of good vitamins which is a bonus and ive finally become regular. Its quite expensive but i feel so much better getting of the sickly disgusting laxatives. Not only that but i have my freedom back. Not stuck to the toilet 24/7 and missing family events.

Anyways i feel your pain. It is a horrible process but easing your self off them (dont go cold turkey) just cut the ammount you have down every few days. Stay away from bread etc for awile at least. Introduce yourself to a fibre supplement and keep telling yourself things will get better. Stay positive. X