So I've been with my boyfriend for three years and he is the most amazing person ever. He puts up with all of my stress and sadness etc. and some days I can't help but feel like I am the most shitty girlfriend and that he deserves so much more than me and than what I'm giving him. I have a problem with feeling like I need his approval in making even the simplest decisions like "hey babe, do you want me to put this in the fridge? Do you think I should put this food in a different container or just leave it in this one?" I could easily make that decision on my own, but I think I ask him anyway just in case he disapproves because I want to be a good girlfriend and do what makes him happy. But I think this always asking him simple stupid questions annoys him but I cant help it. Oh yes and I'm always super stressed because of school (I'm taking 16 units) and sometimes I just have a really bitchy attitude towards life or sometimes he'll be talking to me and I'm not really listening to him because I'm thinking about school, school, school. I just feel terrible because even though I live with him I feel like I don't make enough time for him and that he feels like I don't pay enough attention to him. I also apologize A LOT. Like, for everything. And that annoys him too I think. He doesn't ever respond with an "it's okay" and it drives me crazy sometimes, but he only ignores it because I have nothing to be sorry about. Sometimes I just feel like I suck all of the positive happy energy out of him because I'm such a downer sometimes. He just deserves so much more and I don't deserve him. He deserves a girl who listens 100% when he talks to her, someone who cooks for him (because he always cooks for me), someone who is happy and loves waking up in the morning, someone positive, someone sexy and who knows shes sexy, a woman who say "yeah baby eat me" when he asks if he can go down, someone who doesn't apologize every five seconds and someone who feels independent enough to make her won decisions someone who knows him well enough to know which decision will make him happy or that most of the time it probably doesn't matter. I want to be so much more for him I just feel so shitty.

Just some thoughts I guess... feel free to reply