day one, can I do it?

[Sween]

Hello, today is day one on my diet. The sad thing is, for the past like TWO weeks every day has been my "first" day on the diet. . . I don't know why, but I keep fucking things up! It's so annoying! It's like I want to lose weight more than anything, but for some reason I just can't do it. It doesn't make any sense. Why does food run my world? Why am I in a constant struggle with food? I feel like my life revolves around food. Obviously food is my greatest enemy, but for some reason, when I am in the moment, when I am in front of a delicious piece of food, food becomes my "best friend". I hate how weak I am.

This wouldn't be my first diet. I have dieted a few times, and I successfully gotten through with it. The first time I dieted I was 13 years old. I went from ***edit*** Now, over the summer I lost 4 pounds, but that was because I was sick. I am glad to say that I never had a problem with maintaining my weight. For the past five years I have maintained my weight. If I have NO problem maintaining weight, how come I have a problem losing weight? It makes NO sense.

If I lost weight before, I can definitely do it again. I will do it again. I need to actually try, I need to be strong! Sitting around LETTING myself fuck up will accomplish absolutely NOTHING!!! Starting today, I will begin to act strong! Dieting should become my best friend, not food. Hopefully today will be my day of change.

Well, I should go now. I have to go to an open house at Community College of Philadelphia. As soon as I get home, I will make sure to write more. I will let you know how I am doing. Hopefully I will be able to give you good news.


Bye

[sarah-charlotte]

hi, you didn't mention if u are ana or just a dieter, well not "just" but u know what i mean anyways i know u will find understanding either way and we will help as much as we can. stay strong, the first day can be amazing if u let it!

[pinkprincessbelle]

If u r not ana then dont try to become it! We r not going to help u do that! I think everyone has issues with foodto some extent but if u dont have this mental disorder please do not tryand go there it will take over your life!!

[cmace]

Well at any rate, here is what usually helps me if I'm starting a new way of eating food:
***edit***

[Sween]

I am ana. I've dieted before, I've restricted food before. I starved myself to lose weight before and it worked. . . I just got too comfortable when I lost weight. I am going to do it again I just constantly have problems. It's like I always want to binge. I wish I could just stop binging. you know?

so in a nut shell, no I am not trying to become anorexic.

[pinkprincessbelle]

I am ana. I've dieted before, I've restricted food before. I starved myself to lose weight before and it worked. . . I just got too comfortable when I lost weight. I am going to do it again I just constantly have problems. It's like I always want to binge. I wish I could just stop binging. you know?

so in a nut shell, no I am not trying to become anorexic.

Sorry I sounded harsh just wouldnt want anyone to suffer! Doesnt the need to binge suck!