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Thread: I So fucked up!

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  1. 12-18-2008 #1
    Professorana
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    Professorana is offline Veteran Member
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    Default I So fucked up!

    Fuck me! I tried to wean off my fast becuase christmas is a few days away and I wanted to transition to raw between now and then. Well I ended up purging what I did eat--just a fucking salad, I know but I just hate the idea of food in my stomach. I was so mad at myself and I just went ape shit in my kitchen eating cookies and crackers and shit. I'm so Angry at my own weakness!

    As if that wasn't good enough I had a huge asthma attack yesterday and had to go to hospital and got pumped full of steroids. Steroids make you starving hungery--it's so disgusting and I let my husband take me out to dinner. He says I didn't eat anything but I feel like I ate the whole restaurant. I just want to die!

    Girls, please say I can undo this before Christmas!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    ...She starves herself to rid herself of sin
    And the kick is so divine when she sees bones beneath her skin...Hey baby can you bleed like me?

  2. 12-18-2008 #2
    model
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    Default

    of course u can undo it before christmas, u CAN if u get on it NOW!! in 3 days ul be all suked in and fine again. do everything u can to distract urself from paniking and immedialty sort ure routine out, once ure over the first day or 2 it will be fine, but dont go any more beserk, thats wot i do and a one day binge turns into a 5 day fat episode!!!!! just say right from this second i am being strict again and go on a huge huge walk. u no dedication always pays off, its just harder to see wen ure in a horrible moment like this, pass through it and ul b fine!!!

  3. 12-19-2008 #3
    Professorana
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    Default

    THanks, I feel a whole lot better today. I took a bunch of herbal laxatives which isn't a great idea, but there's no way I can live with that heavy feeling inside me.

    Thanks for your support!!!!
    ...She starves herself to rid herself of sin
    And the kick is so divine when she sees bones beneath her skin...Hey baby can you bleed like me?

  4. 12-19-2008 #4
    donnamaw
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    Hey hun...Stop with the anger!!!! You need cuddles and love and you'll be ok!! Sometimes it's hard to accept love and cuddles from the important people in your life! If this sounds like patronsing shite please feel free to shout at me..coz I sure as hell get annoyed at people for patronising me!

  5. 12-19-2008 #5
    pinkprincessbelle
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    Default

    hope u r doin better sweety. don't b so hard on yourself. easy tp say but i know exactly how u feel. i hate how everything this time of year revolves around food. i felt like a huge pig yesterday but im trying to not be so hard on myself and fast from 2day. doin well so far haha.

    thinking of you
    Belle xxoo

  6. 12-20-2008 #6
    Professorana
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    Professorana is offline Veteran Member
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    Default Thank you!

    I'm feeling much better and wore some tiny pants to a christmas party yesterday at work which made everybody comment on how thin I am since I just had a baby 4 months ago. That briefly made me feel better but I still need to keep losing. 99 or bust. I can do this. I've been fasting the last three days and feel back to rights and I'm just having veggies over christmas, everybody else can go scratch. My husband understands the terminology of "safe food" so he won't be on me to eat carbs or roast or anything nasty like that. Ug, I HATE all the food at these holidays! I wish I came from a family of vegans and then it wouldn't even be an issue.

    Keep on keeping on ladies!
    ...She starves herself to rid herself of sin
    And the kick is so divine when she sees bones beneath her skin...Hey baby can you bleed like me?

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