i feel so disgusting!!! am i the only one as fuked up as this??

[model]

god i feel so so disgusting. so i lost weight and for the last couple of days ive been binging non non stop on everything!!!! and i dared to look at my weight and after like 4 days of binging on loads of shit and throwing it up i had only put on 3/4/ of a lb! (i thought it would have been at least 4 lbs!) so n e way ive carried on binging knowing that its fine i can lose that 1 lb easily - but getting to the point , wot i do is actually so so disgusting, like i will raid the kitchen downstairs and make loads of bread and butter and jam and cakes and cookies etc, and sit on my laptop stuffing my face and then -- heres the really gross part - throw up in a plastic bowl, i willl eat, throw up eat throw up. im so used to doing all i have to do is breathe in and all the food just comes up automatically, and in the bowl it goes and then hidden in my cupboard until i can discard of it discreetly. god im so gross it isnt fuking normal, if someone was filming me they would seriously be like wot the fuk?!. and wenever i walk past the toilet of sink il just throw up there and then as if it is a normal thing, fuk its actually quite disturbing, i HATE MIA, MIA suks, anna rules i wish i never flike from the two, i wish i was how i was ana 100%again!!! am i the only one who does fuked up stuff like this???

[qtimeaaron]

No, you're not. I think I have the same problem as I've binged and thrown up before. I know it's not usual to see a male on an Anorexic forum, but I have the same problem. All I can say is get some help before it's too late. Go to the hospital, ask a nurse about what you should do. Consult your doctor. Just get some help soon, I hate to see people so upset.