tired of bulimia!

[Raeanna]

and i'm sure you can all agree that you are too. it's a shitty disorder, because despite our efforts we rarely lose much weight! i'm totally new to this site, and i've been a bulimic for about half a year now, and it's been terrible. every day is so routine, because despite what i keep telling my self, i binge and purge anyways. i just got home from work, and binged, (about 1000 calories consumed), and then purged a bit, but stopped because of the blood in it. which has been happening more, along with severe bloating. which i hate. so i decided to stop purging, despite the calories consumed. i took some diet pills (because i just figured out im out of laxitives), and i've decided i'm going to stop with this. cold turkey. i know i say that every day to myself, but im done. i cant do this. it's so painful all the time, i'm constintly in pain from the damage ive done on my body, and my body just cant take it. so instead, i'm going to work on stopping eating almost all together. which is going to be even harder. i'm sitting at about 5'6 118lbs. which is decent considering a couple months ago i was 130lbs. but i still need to lose like 20 yet, and im not going to accomplish that through mia. the only reason i got down to that weight because of my additional consistent excersising. but since ive reached 118 its stayed there. or around there anyways. and its not gonna budge unless i start starving myself. but its so hard to stay motivated when your around food all the time! and ive got no one to talk to about it, but i figure some of you want the same thing as me...
so i was wondering if any of you wanted to join me in my "joining anna", because mia just isn't cutting it. then like each day check in, and pm (you can private message on here right?) and see how we're doing... or just consult one another to ensure they dont binge.

so message me if you want to join me & we'll both lose the weight together!

[soph]

Hey,

when i was reading your post i agreed to everything you said. bullemia is hard and sickening. You weigh less than me though. Im about 165cm i think thats
5'5 and i weigh about 63kg and im a size 10. this is all australian conversion. No one thinks im fat but i know i have some on me! ive been bulimic for 3 yrs nearly and im at the point where i really dont lose weight i jsut stay the same i guess. ive started exercising a bit now which i didnt do too much before!
I want to lose weight fast coz i miss being thin =( i mean im an average weight i guess but i would much rather be skinnier!
i dont know if i could do anna though coz its too hard to resist food!

[millie</3]

ahh i know how you feel. i weigh qiute a bit more than you but i've never been called fat or anything, but i've been bulemic for probably half a year as well and i've only lost weight from my daily pilates workouts rather than from purging. i don't binge, but even purging after regular sized meals doesn't help and i want to stop eating completely. i've tries befor but i can never seem to stick to it. i'm definately ready to "go ana" with you, my fatass needs it. pm me anytime

[nrn888]

hi there- your post caught my attention. I have been bulimic for about 4 years now. I have learned its about control not the binge/purge. Of course, there are still the random quick fixes. But I only purge, maybe, once a month. I restrict all that I can to reduce the caloric intake. No meat, No dairy, No grease/sat. fat. Control is a hard thing to get down. It is still a daily battle, but I am figuring it out. Plus, its not as damaging on my body. I dont even want to think of the hell i have put on my body in the past. just my theory for now

[Jaysie]

I never thought I would have an eating disorder, I remember finding out one of my friends was bulimic and freaking out. I went to see a counsellor to talk about how I could help her as she wouldn't see one. I remember having no idea why she would eat and then throw up her food!
Then a year ago, I was binge eating a lot and couldn't stop so I decided one day when my stomach hurt from binging to try and throw it up as it would empty my stomach... Bad move, I continued doing this for about two months and then stopped as I realised it wasn't a productive thing to be doing. About four months ago I started again though, at first it was just occasional and now it is a fully fledged disorder. Sometimes I go a few days without purging, then sometimes it is four times in one day.
I got my wake up call yesterday when trying to throw up cake and some blood streaked through it. I freaked out, and jumped online to try to see what the damage was and I began to see just what I was doing to myself! I had always known bulimia was bad for me, I had seen the literature but I always thought I would stop before it was a problem or that these issues were only associated with long term abuse... but when I saw that blood, I thought what the hell am I doing!!
I haven't purged today, and I plan on not doing it anymore but I know it will be hard because the thought of eating lots of food and not being able to get rid of it is very scary, but the alternative is a list of medical complications a mile long... So I hope I am strong enough.

Your above post scared me because it was identifying just how bad for us bulimia is, and then it suggested replacing it with something just as, if not more toxic in anorexia. I am not here to judge, but please let us not substitute one horrible disease for another... Bulimia sure as hell has not made us feel good, anorexia won't either!!

[ReiseOhneEnde]

Advice:

If you're having trouble quitting cold turkey (which it sounds like you are), try limiting yourself to one day a week. For example, restrict Sunday-Friday and then b&p on Saturday. If you try to restrict indefinitely, you will most likely fail, and do so much more often than if you promise yourself one day a week to binge. Also, I read that bulimics usually absorb about half of the calories they eat. So say you eat 1200 calories a day Sun.-Fri. (That's the lowest amount of calories safe for a human to eat. It sucks, but go any lower, and your metabolism will shut down and you'll stop being able to lose weight). Then on Sat., you binge and eat 3000 calories, then purge. That only counts as 1500 for the day.

That's what works for me when I get in a rut. Just to tell you, and I'm sure you know this, but - you're getting close to underweight for your height. If you're like most bulimics (and like me), your goal is to look skinny and pretty, not to actually die. So instead of over-restricting, do cardio and (especially!) strength-training. It will improve your appearance without killing you. If you're going below 1200 calories a day, you're probably burning muscle anyway, not fat. So you'll get smaller but you'll still look fat.

All of this is assuming there is actually anything wrong with how you look, which I highly doubt.